Truths

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones

:::

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying

:::

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint -to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger

:::

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly

:::

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl

:::

Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush

:::

Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee

:::

Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited

:::

You can't respect a man who carries a dog

:::

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
:::

Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan

Nasty People

This is what I do with the nasty comments that you leave me!

I NEED TO CONFESS

Father forgive me because I have sinned..... blah blah.....................

(This blog needs to be read in a hurried, unstable and emotional state)

I need to confess something that has been ripping me apart for many weeks now. If you scroll further down the blog you will see a picture of Niagara Falls. It is a fake.

The day we went to Niagara was late in the evening and it was raining pretty heavily. As we arrived to the falls it was difficult to see anything. We tried to take pictures but because it was so dark it was a non event.

While walking up the main street we went into the Harley Davison store. Hanging on the wall was this huge poster of Niagara Falls. It looked beautiful, too beautiful not to take a picture of. I looked around and no one was watching. I took out my camera, shaking i proceeded to find the perfect angle. The angle that needed to fool everyone. Then it happened 'click' the lies were stored. Then I pretended everyone that I took that actual picture. I am so sorry. I have deceived friends, family, enemies, even a nation. How can I be trusted again.

Please forgive me

(If you look closely at the picture you can see that there is a crease in the poster)

Injured

Right hand, index finger strain and bruising is the diagnosis of my injury. It all began when I arrived home and my sister wanted me to challenge me to a game on the Xbox. This was well and good and I did actually believe that I could beat her. Unfortunately that wasn't to be the case. It was obvious that she has wasted many hours playing a game as I was completely thrashed. Now thinking about it I think the word thrashed is kind. It wasn't even fair.

I pretended that I wasn't frustrated and that I didn't care what the game was like time to move on to a driving game. I could beat her in a driving game. I really did believe that. I acted confident as I selected my car, customised it so it looked as sexy as a car can look and off we went for the countdown. What I didn't know was that as well as Halo (the fighting game) she has wasted many hours on this game. The problem that I came across started when the race begun. It was obvious that her car was modified beyond belief and I wasn't going to be able to compete.

I looked at the calendar and smiled as I said a Yes!! Inside myself.
I said it inside as I didn't want anyone to know. The day was Tuesday, Ruth would be leaving for most of the night and I would be home alone with the Xbox. So I sat for easily 4 hours straight playing the racing game, competing, modifying, winning levels and gaining a large bank account in which I could customise my car.

I couldn't help but smile when Ruth walked in the room later that evening. I was confident that I would kill her in the race. We sat down, took our positions, watched the clock count down and off we went.

She destroyed me in that game. I went to bed pretending that I didn't care, that I wasn’t frustrated and that I enjoyed the fun of competing. BS

Resulting from that pride filled, jealous, unhealthy competitive nature experience was one really sore finger. On the game you have to accelerate with your index finger. Sitting for easily 6 hours that day straining my finger has left it extremely sore.

I think I learnt my lesson that day.............. Get tape and tape down the button.

Right hand, index finger strain and bruising is the diagnosis of my injury.

I have to change my nose picking finger