It's Official

While I was in my bed this morning, in between hitting the snooze button many times I decided that I would like to announce that my favourite pop (fizzy drink) is GINGER ALE.

Thank You

What a weird night!

Occasionally I have weird nights of sleeping. Whether it is where I wake up and realise that I am standing in the middle of the room, wake up in the morning and realise that I have switched to the opposite end of the bed, or jump off the top bunk and go to sleep on the floor (happened at Muskoka Woods). Last night was no exception and after sitting on the edge of my bed this morning for about 5 minutes I was able to piece this puzzle together.

You have heard of sleep walking, sleep talking and now you have heard of sleep eating.

I went to bed last night around 11.15 pm and i thought that i was out for the night. At 1.09 am I remember the phone ringing but being in a sleep mode I was unable to wake up to answer it. In my head I knew I needed to answer it but my body would not let me. The reason I wanted to answer it was because, let’s face it how many people phone me at 1.09 am in the morning.

As soon as the ringing stopped I can remember getting up and looking at my phone. I don’t remember the journey’s between the next few events I just remember being there. I remember standing in the bathroom looking in the mirror. This was a pointless event as the lights were not on – and I couldn’t see anything. I remember going into the spare room and flipping the matress over. I then remember sitting on my bed with my legs crossed (which I never do because it hurts) eating Bretton Crackers and Salsa dip. I know that this happened because my bed was covered in crumbs, my pillow had salsa on it and the crackers and salsa were sitting by my bed this morning. The funny thing is that I ate over half the box of crackers. And I remember leaving the crackers in the living room earlier that day, so part of my journey involved me travelling to the living room. I must try the combo again to see what it tastes like.

What a weird night.

So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye

Am I Mean

I was sitting out on the steps at the front of my house the other day thinking about how great the weather has been, plus i had burnt toast and the house smelt gross. While i was sitting there a car pulled up and the guy got up and came over to me. He asked if I was the Landlord - i am not - so i said no. He was meeting the Landlord at the house at 6pm to view it (because i am moving out at the end of May)

The more i chatted to him the more i want him to move in here whenever I leave. As you can tell i am not a huge fan of the folks downstairs. Well that is a lie, the husband Shawn is a great guy. Really nice to chat to, and very helpful. His wife on the other hand is not so pleasant.

I know what really annoys his wife because they are all the things that she has came to shout at me about. Those being: parking 2 cars in the driveway, the cable money due, music being played too loud, movies to loud, walking around with "steel shoes on", talking loud, not shoveling snow off the driveway and the list could go on.

(Which are all a joke: we walk around quietly, don’t make that much noise and one night the landlord came around to see us at 10.00pm and we were all in bed)

I asked him a few questions and what I got from him was - he will be moving in with 2 other male friends, they all have cars, he walks around like an elephant, they like parties (late parties) and he wants to put a table tennis table in the house. I couldn't help but smile.

So me being a really nice guy brought him in and showed him around the house. I used all my experience and knowledge of previously working in Sales & Marketing and really impressed him with the house.

I do hope he and his friends move in here.

PK 1 - 0 Basement people

(If you think that this is mean, I will update you in my next blog as to why she was going to call the police on me)

Incredibly Dumb

Last night around 7.40pm I was driving south on the 400 heading home (this is a major highway for those who are not Canadian). Two motorbikes screamed past me and as I didn’t see them or hear them coming, I jumped. They pulled in to the lane beside me and I couldn’t work out why they kept looking behind them as they rode.

The next thing I knew was that they guy checked back one more time, stood up and pulled a wheelie. Yes there was a guy, pulling a wheelie, while traveling south on the 400, traveling at 120 in the next lane to me.

Incredible, yet dumb. I stayed far enough back that I could still see well and appreciate this wonder, and also swerve if I needed to. I was prepared to administer my very basic first aid that learnt at a first aid course this past summer if he fell. He didn’t.

PK & Parents 

Our Trio's Down to Two

I can see what's happening
And they don't have a clue
They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line
Our trio's down to two. (Lion King)

The first three lines of that song have no relevance to what I am writing about; I am just using the last line.

OUR TRIO’S DOWN TO TWO

Today was a sad in the lives of 243 Johnston because our trio did become two. Cheryl moved out of our house today because on Tuesday she travels to India for a new and exciting adventure where she is going to be teaching. Good luck Cheryl.

SO that leaves myself and John Wood to battle with the crazy, psycho, foul mouthed freak who lives in the basement. Finally those months that we have been dreading have come upon us. She gave birth!

Usually what we have to cope each day with is:

• her partner clearing his throat in the morning (which I sleep through now)
  them arguing and using the most foul language that I have ever heard people shout at each other
• them shouting at the dogs when they bark even though the reason they bark is because they hardly ever let them out
• the TV as loud as being at the cinema
• her coming up to shout at me because I have parked the car in the wrong place or at the wrong angle
• or her reporting me (us) to the landlord and nearly to the police (that could be the next blog)

Now we have to put up with a crying baby, and her shouting at her partner saying “the f*ing baby won’t stop crying.” This would not be an environment that I would recommend a baby to be brought up in.

So Cheryl has gone, and tomorrow John Woods leaves to go to Europe for 3 weeks. I am home, alone with no support to help me cope with ‘ it ‘ downstairs. I suppose I could have started this part off with another line from a song. This is from the legendary band who will never be forgotten and we dream of the day that they will return and claim the world as their own - The Spice Girls - Two Become One......

Oh no, I can hear the baby warming up for a round of screaming. Time for the ear plugs. Good Night – I hope.

Oh My ! !

Oh My, I count unconsciously .

I don't know whether you know or not but I hate feet; I did mention it in an earlier blog I think. The summer for some people is a great thing, but some (like me) it definitely has a negative side. The feet come out. With it being warm, people feel that they should wear sandals. Usually buy the start of the summer I am used to them so the summer isn’t so bad, but the first month or so is challenging.

Do you ever do something but never realise that you do it and then WHAM you realise. I realised last summer that I do something but only remembered about it today. I count toes. I don't, know why, I can't explain it, I don't want to, I just do. I don’t do it all the time. But I do it sometimes. I need help.

Now I don't, walk around like some sicko looking for some victim in sandals that I can attack numerically. But sometimes I realise - that I have started sweating for no reason - unconscious of my behaviour - I am in a stare that can't be broken - the feeling of uncomfortable is now hitting a HIGH - overwhelmed - nauseous - then suddenly WHAM - I catch myself on, realising that in fact yes they do have the correct amount of toes that God gave them. I think that part of me would love to find someone with an extra toe so that I can point out why their feet are ugly. But to be honest I don,t know what I would do if I found someone with a toe missing or an extra one.

(I might possibly contact the two people and let the one that has a toe missing, that I know someone who has an extra toe so that they can approach them about maybe trading something for it. Like an extra finger if he has one and the other person has one less)

Wow, I feel the need to lie down.

My name is NOT André

There are not many things that I dislike about Canada but the one that tops the chart is how people get my name wrong. It happens a lot and it used to annoy me but now I have to see the humour in it. I didn’t think my accent is that strong – guess not

The worst place for this has to be one of my favorite food establishments, Licks, and the problem is when I am there usually Chris and Erika is with me. They find this very amusing and to stir the pot they call me André as much as possible when I am there.

At the start we thought that they were just saying it wrong but they actually write your name on the receipt. I have the evidence.

A couple of years ago I was at a conference in Toronto and this old lady thought that I was French, she got really annoyed when I called her an American. I laughed because she was really upset.

I think when I go in there I will start to use other names that could annoy them, names that are long and hard to spell like - Nebuchadnezzar, Belteshazzar, Zerubbabel, or a really hard one like ANDREW ! ! !

Eating My Own Vomit

I walked into the staff room where I work the other morning and Taryn was making herself breakfast. Being nosey I went and had a look at what she was making. She was having Oatmeal. It looked.... ok and smelt good so on the way home I decided that I would go and buy some. Instead of just buying one to try I bought a box that contained 12 packets of Apple Honey and Cinnamon Oatmeal.
I really wish that I had tried some of Taryns instead of buying this box. I don't now whether you have tried Oatmeal but it really isn't all that pleasant.
I don't see why people pay the money to eat something that feels like you are eating your own vomit. The texture of it in your mouth and as you 'try' to swallow this stuff really isn't an enjoyable experience.
The next day I tried something different. I got an apple and chopped it up and put it in the bowl of oatmeal thinking that this would make it better. No! All this did was make me feel like there were solids in my vomit.
I have been working my way through the box as I hate to see food go to waste. I have even tried adding extra honey to it, raisins, more water to make it less glupey (if that is a word). The worst was when I tried to put two packets together so that I would be able to get through this box quicker. Oh no...... I found myself gagging as I was eating; each mouthful was something that I had to work up to. I had to concentrate and attack it like I was attacking ......... something that you attack. I couldn't do it; I had to throw it out.
Do you ever think something and wish you hadn't thought of it because it really annoys you. Today I looked in this box and noticed that there is only one packet left. As soon as I noticed this I thought, 'why don't you give it to Taryn if she likes it so much?'
WHY DIDN'T I GIVE THEM ALL TO TARYN IF SHE LIKES THEM SO MUCH!!!!!
I think I will just stick to having no breakfast

Leather

Today I decided that people should have to have a licence to wear leather pants (trousers). People have to get a TV license, a dog licience and now they should need a leather license. The reason that I am thinking this way is because I saw some people today that should "NEVER!" "EVER!" wear leather trousers.

It is obvious that people wear them for attention, because it couldn't be for fashion. The folks today that I saw shouldn't have worn them because of their age, size, style, and walk. I think it will take me months to get over what I saw today. I am scared to close my eyes incase I picture it again.