Sore Ankle

SO recently my ankle has been giving me a little bother and I thought I would explain why.

In the summer of 2000 at Muskoka Woods I was teaching a football (soccer) class and we were having a match to finish off the week. It was a corner to the other team and the ball was crossed in. Being the huge figure that I am or the fact the ball came to me I jumped and headed the ball away. On my return to the ground I also took the weight of the person next to me as he had his arm on my shoulder. Down to the ground I went and ‘snap’ the ankle was gone. This may gross you out but I can vividly remember the sound of the bone breaking. Luckily my good buddy Tim Jebb was also there at the time and off he ran. Not because he was a wimp but rather cause he ran to radio the nurse. Lying there in the heap that I had just formed I was rather calm. I told one kid to run and get my inhaler, one to get me a bottle of water, some to take off their shoes and create a little pile of shoes that I could rest my ankle on and the others I sent to the tuck shop to get rid of them. Eventually the nurse’s cart came and with a little help from Tim and some other folks I was lifted onto the back of the cart.

It was lying in the Health Care centre waiting for the doctor to arrive that it hit me that I had actually broken my leg. When the doctor arrived he insisted on examining me. He grabbed my ankle and boy did it hurt. It was then that I was extremely rude to him. It was then that he injected me with Demerol. He won! I was out of it.

Tim and Mark Wallace were the lucky victims to take me to the hospital. I can’t remember the trip as I was off my face on the drug but talking to them later apparently it was quite the funny journey.

I arrived at the hospital and they refused to see me because I had no way of paying to be examined. Incredible!! Mark had to run out of the hospital and cash his pay check, come back and pay for me to be seen. As if I was in any state to remember to bring my Visa card.

After my operation they decided that they would teach me how to use crutches. Even though I had been using crutches for 4 days before I actually got the operation they took me down to the physio room. I insisted that I didn’t need to be shown, but they insisted that I did, and seeing that they were in charge of my dosage of Morphine I went along with them. They parked my wheel chair and gave me the crutches. I stood up and placed them under my arm. And that my friends is all I can remember because I blacked out because of the pain and the next thing I new I was back lying in my hospital bed. I had fainted and fallen on the floor. Good one hospital staff.

Leaving the hospital was possibly the sorest of my whole experiences. I was in my wheel chair with my leg extended out in front of me. A lady came to wheel me to the car. Not sure whether it is relevant but she was about 75 and I guarantee she doesn’t have her driving licence. And she shouldn’t have been pushing me to the car. As she swung the corner to leave my room she decided to look behind her and see if I had everything. What she didn’t realise was that as she turned she also turned the wheelchair. And you can probably guess that the result of my leg being jammed into the side of the wall brought many tears to my eyes. No matter how many time she apologised on the way down it didn’t make up for it.

A big thank you to Tim Jebb for all his help and special thanks to Mark Wallace for going on every single hospital trip with me, for holding my hand as I fell asleep and for holding my thigh when I woke up . Hold on here. Mark what were you actually doing. Lol. For trying to fit your whole body in one of the nurses small lockers. For putting on the gown with the ass missing at the back so that I wasn’t the only one wearing one, for getting caught being in the locker and wearing the gown by the nurses, for playing with all the instruments when the doctors left the room and most of all for just being you.

With a end result of 12 hospital visits, 1 operation, 1 night in hospital, 3 plaster casts, lots of Morphine and nearly $4000.00 spent this just proves why you need to get medical insurance. And I did. Thank you Endsleigh Insurance.

And that is why my ankle hurts today.

Broken Leg

Post OP

About to get plaster off for the first time since the operation.... exciting

Plaster OFF

Plaster off..... grosss

War wound

Skinny Leg

Wow look how skinny my leg is ! ! !

Something to think about

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If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?

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If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales looklike the way they do?

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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

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What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that only eats endangered plants?

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Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on?

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Do you wake up or open your eyes first?

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If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?

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Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?

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Why do we push harder on the remote control when we knowthe battery is dead?

One thing I HATE ! !

There are not many things that I hate in the world. Tonight I discovered something that I hate.

I had a great bath and shave and everything was going so well. I put on some aftershave to get that stinging effect that makes you feel cleaner. I put on my clothes and headed to my room. Oh I forgot to put on some deodorant. I went back into the bathroom grabbed my spray, stuck it up my t-shirt only to find that I in fact hadn’t lifted my deodorant but I had actually lifted my Shaving Gel. Gross........ It is a new can of Gel so the speed that it comes out is quicker than the speed of light so by the time I realised what was heppening it was too late. I had to carefully take off my new clean t-shirt and clean up the mess. Not Impressed. I was covered.

Once again I prove that I must read the labels.

Worth a look

This is a website of a friend of mine. It is worth taking a look to read his article called Life in Belfast and Northern Ireland.

i have even been so kind as to provide you with a link. www.itsjaymac.blogspot.com

check it out and make sure you come back to pk's site

Toilet Talk

I need a new HERO !

It is a sad day in the life of a person when you have to consider changing who your hero is. For years my hero has been Andy McNabb. For those of you who don’t know about Andy McNabb I will tell you a little about him.

Andy McNab joined the infantry as a boy soldier. In 1984 he was 'badged' as a member of 22 SAS, and was involved in both covert and overt special operations worldwide. The motto of the SAS being Who Dares Wins. During the Gulf War he commanded Bravo Two Zero, a patrol that, in the words of his commanding officer, "will remain in regimental history forever."

He has been awarded the Distinguished Conduct Medal (DCM) and the Military Medal (MM), Andy McNab was also the British Army's most highly decorated serving soldier at the time that he left the SAS in February 1993.

He is also a known for being an amazing writer where he has written many books, Bravo Two Zero, Immediate Action are a few. I am not writing this to show you my knowledge of this guy (or that I know how to work Google) but rather what a great guy he is / was.

Yesterday I was reading the paper and I came across an article that has slightly tainted my view of him. He is now coming out with his own brand of clothing, not macho as you would think or hope but he has produced his own line of Ladies Lingere.

SAS legend Andy, 45, says some of the undies will be in camouflage pattern — and added: “This isn’t a joke.”

This is a sad day and it becomes even worse when you find out the name of his brand - Who Bares Wins.

I am thinking about changing my hero from Andy McNabb to Daniel from Karate Kid.

Worst time to sneeze

Today I came to the conclusion that I know the worst place to sneeze. It is official the worst place to sneeze is when you are working as a monitor in a GCSE exam, the exam taking place in school gym with 70 people being very quiet.

I can think of something worse. Sneezing 3 times in a row. It sucked.

Guess Who???

Moving Tip #48

Drive Carefully

No Trespassing

Kids - You gotta love em

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

* * * * * * * * * *

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

* * * * * * * * * *

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

You won't believe me!

You may have noticed that I have been quite brown recently. I have the answer.

No I have not been using a sunbed. No I have not been lying in the sun. No I have not been using fake tan.

I was sitting in the house the other night watching TV and the stupid advertisements came on. I usually hate advertisements but this time it proved to be rather helpful.

On came an advertisement for a body lotion. And then it hit me. I have been using the same lotion. What I wasn't aware of was that it is called Boots Holiday Sun. Yes this lotion includes something that makes you seem like you are just back from holiday. I am not just back from holiday so therefore I should not be looking like I am just back from holiday.

Funny but sad. I thought that I had learnt my lesson until 4 nights later.

I decided that I wanted to wash my face. (Sometimes I do this) I went to the bathroom and filled the sink full of nice warm water. I looked around for some face wash as I didn't want to use regular soap. I looked at the cabinet and found one that said face on it. I grabbed it, opened the lid and put a healthy blob into the palm of my hand. I worked it into a rather great lather and applied it to my face. I then put my hands in the sink got them wet and continued to wash my face.

It was then that I realised that I had not used face wash but in fact i had used face moisturising lotion. The lotion and the water had created an oily paste and was sticking to my face. I struggled to turn on the tap but I struggled to do this as my hands were so slippy. I washed and washed and no matter how much water I used it wouldn't come off my hands. What was I going to do with my face? It was still thick with paste. Water wasn't going to work. I had to grab the towel and wipe it off. It took me quite a while to not only wash my face but to tidy up the bathroom with the oily, thick nasty paste that had seemed to end up everywhere.

The lesson I learnt this week. Fully read the labels on products that you use.

Jonathan Jordan - The Big Day

The wedding

So my brother is finally married. This was one of the main reasons that I came home from Canada (other than the fact that the government was demanding it). It was a great day and lots of fun was had by all.

Being the best man (obviously) I had the honour of looking after the groom, holding the rings and giving a speech to round off the day. I didn’t really have to look after the groom that much as he is a big boy and I trusted that he knew what he was doing.

With regards the ring I did not trust myself to hold them. I have pretty much lost everything that I own at least once. This was not the best day for this to happen. To help me I had the help of Andrew Gibson. He stood next to me and just before the minister asked for them he passed them to me in stealth like motion. Smooth. Nobody knew.

And the speech. Where do I start? We arrived at the reception and I had a few minutes to myself so I decided to get out my speech to have a quick read over it. I opened the page and I stared in disbelief. I hadn’t brought the speech with me. I had with me the behaviour report of the 12 year old boy that I look after in the School I work in. Oh Crap.

To be honest I wasn’t nervous at all. And when it came to the speech I just wung it. Nothing prepared, and to be honest I can’t remember much of what I said (and it wasn’t because of the wine) but it seemed to go down well. There was plenty of laughs and I think I passed the occasion. Being at Muskoka Woods as much as I have means that speaking in front of large groups is not a problem to me.

Below are some pics of the occasion.

Champagne Fountain

The Jordan Family

Jonny & Julie Jordan

Ready for the Big Day

Truths

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones

:::

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying

:::

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint -to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger

:::

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly

:::

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl

:::

Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush

:::

Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee

:::

Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited

:::

You can't respect a man who carries a dog

:::

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
:::

Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan

Nasty People

This is what I do with the nasty comments that you leave me!

I NEED TO CONFESS

Father forgive me because I have sinned..... blah blah.....................

(This blog needs to be read in a hurried, unstable and emotional state)

I need to confess something that has been ripping me apart for many weeks now. If you scroll further down the blog you will see a picture of Niagara Falls. It is a fake.

The day we went to Niagara was late in the evening and it was raining pretty heavily. As we arrived to the falls it was difficult to see anything. We tried to take pictures but because it was so dark it was a non event.

While walking up the main street we went into the Harley Davison store. Hanging on the wall was this huge poster of Niagara Falls. It looked beautiful, too beautiful not to take a picture of. I looked around and no one was watching. I took out my camera, shaking i proceeded to find the perfect angle. The angle that needed to fool everyone. Then it happened 'click' the lies were stored. Then I pretended everyone that I took that actual picture. I am so sorry. I have deceived friends, family, enemies, even a nation. How can I be trusted again.

Please forgive me

(If you look closely at the picture you can see that there is a crease in the poster)

Injured

Right hand, index finger strain and bruising is the diagnosis of my injury. It all began when I arrived home and my sister wanted me to challenge me to a game on the Xbox. This was well and good and I did actually believe that I could beat her. Unfortunately that wasn't to be the case. It was obvious that she has wasted many hours playing a game as I was completely thrashed. Now thinking about it I think the word thrashed is kind. It wasn't even fair.

I pretended that I wasn't frustrated and that I didn't care what the game was like time to move on to a driving game. I could beat her in a driving game. I really did believe that. I acted confident as I selected my car, customised it so it looked as sexy as a car can look and off we went for the countdown. What I didn't know was that as well as Halo (the fighting game) she has wasted many hours on this game. The problem that I came across started when the race begun. It was obvious that her car was modified beyond belief and I wasn't going to be able to compete.

I looked at the calendar and smiled as I said a Yes!! Inside myself.
I said it inside as I didn't want anyone to know. The day was Tuesday, Ruth would be leaving for most of the night and I would be home alone with the Xbox. So I sat for easily 4 hours straight playing the racing game, competing, modifying, winning levels and gaining a large bank account in which I could customise my car.

I couldn't help but smile when Ruth walked in the room later that evening. I was confident that I would kill her in the race. We sat down, took our positions, watched the clock count down and off we went.

She destroyed me in that game. I went to bed pretending that I didn't care, that I wasn’t frustrated and that I enjoyed the fun of competing. BS

Resulting from that pride filled, jealous, unhealthy competitive nature experience was one really sore finger. On the game you have to accelerate with your index finger. Sitting for easily 6 hours that day straining my finger has left it extremely sore.

I think I learnt my lesson that day.............. Get tape and tape down the button.

Right hand, index finger strain and bruising is the diagnosis of my injury.

I have to change my nose picking finger

Laughing while i Vomit

I haven't thrown up in quite some time but last night was an experience that i don't want to go through again.

Being the jolly good chap that I am I told Chris and Erika that I would take the dog out to the back garden to pee as Erika was tired and Chris didn't feel well. I grab the lead and attach it to Boston's collar and out we go. (lead is needed as you spend 15 mins trying to get him out from below the shed in the dark - not so much fun) Boston runs down the steps and starts to inhale the rest of Kody's dinner (Kody is the other dog - don't worry they only have 2)

He finally finishes and he goes over to the grass to do his number one's, number two's would come later as I would find out.

I was coming out of the Bathroom after brushing my teeth I turned the corner to walk into my room and i was about to step down I noticed Boston in mid motion of taking a crap on the floor. I stopped my forward motion because I could see that were I was headed was right on top of his first little present of the night. I shouted at Boston to follow me as I took him downstairs where there was no carpet. Oh, but by the time he got downstairs he had finished his buisness. Convenient.....

Armed with some spray and a load of cloth I headed up to my room to attack the objects that he had so kindly left for me. I hate doing things like this because when it comes to items that come out of either end I really struggle to keep my stomach together. I had no longer started to clean up than the dry heaving started. Then the dry heaving turned a little more serious and found myself over the loo and I was no longer dry heaving, this was the real deal.

(i realise that this is probably gross, thank you for being patient)

After a few minutes I went back and finished the process with loo roll stuck up both my nostreals and my t-shirt covering my mouth.

Downstairs I headed to turn the lights out only to find Boston barfing in the middle of the living room. Oh crap the 'not dry heaving' started. Back up stair for another few minutes knowing that I still had to clean it up.

This was a pretty gross night. I left Erika a note to tread carefully around the house and let her know about the incidents that happened. But of course Boston was finshed. What joy what animals are.

I went to bed and put a baracade so that the dog wouldn't be able to come up. Ha ha. I am smarter than animals.

What A View !

Niagara Falls

It was Friday afternoon when we decided that we should head to see Niagara Falls. Matt was heading back to New Zealand and we decided to let him see the famous falls. The weather was crap and the traffic was horrific but we arrived eventually.

We saw the falls, took some pictures and then we went to a Karaoke bar and listened to some people try and sing. If you closed your eyes you could be convinced that someone was being strangled on stage. It was bad.

You will notice from the picture that we are having a beer. Jono went to the toilet so we thought it would be funny to order him one of the small bottles. Oh we are funny. You will see that I am having a Canadian. This would not usually be my choice but I will tell you the selection that I had to choose from. Bud, Bud Light, Coors, Coors Light, Miller, Miller Light, The Small Bottle (still funny) and Canadian.

I make no apologies.

Jono & Matt

Usually they hold hands. They didn't want to for this picture

More Jack Handy

When you're riding in a time machine way far into the future,
don't stick your elbow out the window, or it'll turn into a fossil.

* * * * *

Most people don't realize that large pieces of coral,
which have been painted brown and attached to the skull

by common wood screws,

can make a child look like a deer.

Edge Playing

I went up to the front of the stage to get some shots of the Edge

Bono beside us

Bono in the Light

Adam Clayton

Meeting Bono !

Bono in the Yukon

U2 - Armbands

U2 Green = Main Floor: Blue = Ellipse

U2 - Part 1

It has taken me a while to put this blog up because it was an experience that I won’t forget and I wanted to just ponder on it for a while.

Monday night was a night that Chris and myself have been waiting on for many months. We had 2 tickets for the floor at the first of the U2 concerts in Toronto. Part of being on the floor was the possibility of getting into the ellipse. The ellipse is the area in front of the stage that only 300 people get into. It has a catwalk around it. The end of the catwalk is where the main crowd stand for the show.

Doors wouldn’t open until 6.30 but I was there to line up at 12.00. Chris came from work and joined me just after one; I introduced him to the folks that I had been chatting to over the last hour.

We sat down and started to play cards. As we were sitting there someone noticed a car pull up beside where we were sitting. A Yukon with tinted windows. The front window rolled down and we couldn’t believe it but Bono was sitting in the front seat. I think everyone was stunned because no one really moved. Chris and I jumped up and ran over where we were able to get a picture. Chris got to the car and shook hands with him and said ‘thank you’ bono replied ‘don’t lose your spot in line’. He turned to me and I shook his hand he then asked me my name. I said PK. I was about to say more but I was swamped by the crowd and I was pushed out of the way. I didn’t care. I met Bono!

U2 - Part 2

At 6.30 the doors were opened as planned. We made our way down into the entrance hall where the first security guy checked our tickets. From where we were standing we could hear random screams. Later we found out that the screams were the people winning the draw to get into the ellipse. After we get our tickets scanned we head to a table where you are given a green armband and there is a computer set up.

Everyone goes to the computer to get their ticket scanned a second time. Once scanned the computer either read - Enter main floor or it flashes and says you have made it into the ellipse. They scanned both our tickets and neither of us won. Just past the table the barriers led you to the main floor but I noticed to the right there was a group of people standing looking happier than the rest of us. That was the group of people who had managed to win entry to the ellipse.

I grabbed Chris’s arm and told him to follow me. We went and stood in that very group laughing and cheering. We got up to the table and they didn’t recheck the tickets. They stamped our ticket with a cool 3 leaf clover stamp. Gave us our blue armbands and said congratulations for winning.

I couldn't believe it. Sneaky Sneaky

We made our way down to the arena where we were sectioned off and told to walk down a different path. At the end of the path we entered the ellipse. We had succeeded. We were in.

Inside the ellipse we had so much room. I said to Chris that we should stand at the back area because the catwalk came right behind us and we would literally be 2 feet from the band and that is where we stood.

The whole night was incredible. The set that they played was more than expected. They definitely exceeded my expectations. Pictures and more thoughts will follow in the coming days.

2 things

1.

I bought myself a camera today. I like it.

I should have more pictures to put on my blog soon.

2.

I don't think that I will be able to sleep tonight. I am going to see U2 tomorrow evening. Chris and Myslef have backstage tickets, well...... not really backstage tickets but we are going to try and get backstage. We are considering all the options. We are feeling lucky!

Peeing On Ice

My favourite loo's are the ones where they put ice cubes in the urinals. What great satisfaction it is to see how many ice cubes you can melt before you are done. So relaxing. Bring on the ICE.

Bear Hunting

The day went like this:
10:00 am - Guests Leave
12:30 pm - Lunch
1:30 pm - Work Projects Begin
4:00 pm - Final meeting of the summer
4:30 pm - Goodbye hugs
5:30 pm - Mark, Eva and Eli Wallace; Jono; Jamie and Myself head to Windemere
8:00 pm - Drive back
8:30 pm - Bear hunting (not to kill - just to watch)

This is where I will cut in as the details are necessary.

I decided that I would go bear hunting. Across the highway from camp is where our large bins are. That is where we throw all the trash from camp. There are certain times that are key times to see bears and around this time was one of them. I drove over and parked in the perfect place so that I the whole area covered. There was one of the biggest bears that I had seen this summer and it was making quite the noise with its grunting and sorting through all the garbage.

I don't exactly remember what happened next but what I do know is that I woke up at 12:00 am. Yes I had fallen asleep in the truck. I was cold and busting to go to the loo so I decided that it was time to head back to camp. I turned the key and..... Nothing. I tried again.... Nothing. Oh crap. So there is one little Irish guy, stuck across the highway, busting to go to the toilet with a truck that will not start.

I grabbed my flashlight (torch) as this would give me a sense of security and safety. But of course that didn't work. Great! In the dark I searched around the seats looking for my phone that I knew was in there and finally I found it, but who do I call? I tried Jono but of course his phone was off, I tried Chris Evans oh yea his phone was off as well and I knew there would be no one in the office.

For some reason I tried the lights in the truck and they worked. So there was enough battery to have the lights on but not to start it - smart. Wish I had tried that before I started looking for my phone.

I decided that I had 2 options.

1. There is a large stick in the back of the truck. I could grab it and run back to camp beating the crap out of whatever gets in my way.
2. Sleep in the truck overnight. It was pretty cold but I think that after reading all my SAS books I could stick one night.

Not a lot of options. I sure wasn't getting out of the truck after the noise that the bear was making earlier. He could still be there. Hungry. As I was putting on my extra clothes to sleep overnight I remembered secret option number 3.

Phone Mark Wallace. Successful call, he was awake and keen to come and rescue me. Over he came and drove me back to camp. I was safe, alive, hungry and still needing to pee.

What a night.

What a week

Classic has finished and right now i am sitting at home recovering from such a crazy week. Lack of sleep, extra stress and missing meals meant that i started to get sick. It started off with a cold and then moved towards my chest. So now i am trying to catch up on the sleep that i lost. I am still coughing but things are looking good.

Classic: Day One

Classic is now under way. It has been a crazy few weeks but here we are in our last week of camp. Classic is a week for Senior High guests only (14+) they come and experience what could be their final week as a guest here. This week is very different from your normal week. The games, electives, bands, dramas and snacks are incredible. Everyone plays the games together so you can imagine the type of planning that needs to be done for 407 guests running around.

Yesterday was opening day. Things didn’t really go as planned. 20 mins before the guests arrived we had to move indoors as there was a storm coming in. Then …… it hit and it really hit. We had to direct the cars do drop the kids off at the cabins rather than the parking area as it was too bad for people to walk around in. In the midst of this we still had our crazy dancers in their 50’s gear dancing and greeting cars. Please note that when I say 50’s I mean year of 50’s not 50 year old people style.

After the intor we havd everyone pumped to play the game and the rain hit again. It was not going to be possible to play a game in this and being in charge of Classic I have to make the sucky decision to scrap it. Luckily I have had friends visiting me from Alberta. Their band is called Gaetz Ave and they were meant to be in Ottawa on Sunday night for a show. One of the band guys was in a little accident and their van is pretty mashed up. Fortunately they were sitting watching the opening show and with 45 mins notice they were good to play a concert for the guests. I think most people enjoyed them. I did and that is all that matters…. I think….

Today the rain is off. I think that I am going to go and grab a nap. Late nights + early morning = tired PK


www.gaetzave.com

Gaetz Ave are about to go on tour with Thousand Foot Crutch - very nice.

Sorry not a very funny blog. I am tired today.

Crash bang, oh where is my apple?

I have always been a pretty good driver. I am safe, confident and most of the time don't suffer from road rage. This summer I had my first accident. I was driving a golf cart up towards the village at camp coming up around the side of one of the buildings I was turning right but for some reason I was looking left. As I turn the corner I turned my vision towards where I was heading only to see another golf cart coming in the opposite direction. The person who was driving this golf cart (no names will be given) was also going pretty fast but his attention was not on where he was driving but what a group of kids were getting up to. The problem was that when I looked to see where I was going it was too late.

Now when I say he was driving a golf cart it was a little more than a golf cart. This vehicle is called a Ranger and it used by the maintenance guys who need a bigger stronger vehicle than your normal golf cart. We did our best to swerve but it just wasn't meant to be. We smashed our golf carts together and sat for a second in disbelief as to what had just happened.

This will seem really incidental but I was eating an apple at the time. And what a great apple it was. We get fresh fruit delivered almost daily but finding a good apple could also be compared to finding a needle in a haystack. On this occasion I was eating that needle. It was perfect with amazing texture and taste. I had only eaten just over a quarter of it until I was involved in the accident. You may be wondering where I am going with this but I lost my apple in the crash. I have no idea where it went. After asking the other person (still remaining nameless) if he was ok and checking to make sure no one saw the crash I looked down and this apple, golden nugget, needle (whatever you want to call it) was no longer in my possession. I jumped off the cart and looked for it. I never did find it.

I never used to believe about spontaneous combustion until that moment. I guess that I should be glad that it was the apple and not myself.

But I really do miss that apple.

By the way I did write-off that golf cart and it did have to be sent back. Oops

Seagulls - love em or hate em

I neither love birds or hate birds, but for some reason I don't have much luck with them. Let me tell you the history.

Incident One:
When I was younger I was fishing. As I cast my line out a seagull decided that it was hungry and tried to catch my bait. It missed but somehow the line managed to wrap around the seagulls wing. I watched as the bird plummeted into the water. Trying to swim, fly, or not drown I decided to reel it in. I felt slightly embarrassed as everyone started to over to watch. I had to use a net to lift him out of the water as I didn't want my line to break. Setting him down carefully I proceeded to try and unwrap him. The stupid thing kept pecking me and nipping me even though I was trying to help him. I didn't know how to stop it so I ended up flicking him on the head as a punch would be a little extreme. I took the line off his wing, picked him up and threw him back in the water. The stupid bird flew away. I was left with a damaged line, feathers in the net and marks on my hand.

Incident Two:
Walking downtown Toronto with my brother who was visiting me and Chris Schryer we decided that hunger was winning and we would get some street meat. I adore steet meat, infact when I am downtown I make a point of getting it. This time I was so hungry that I could already taste it in my mouth. Getting there I ordered 1 dog (cause that is what you say apparently) and a coke. The guy handed it to me and told me the price was $3.50. I didn't know what to do, both my hands were full and the money was in my pocket. I would have asked Chris to fish it out but that probably wouldn't have looked to good. Behind the vender was union station so I set my food down got my money handed it to him and as I turned I realised that there was about 15 seagulls attacking my food. I generally don't really lose it but on this occasion I did. I think it was the combination of my hunger, love for street meat and past experiences with birds.

I don't know what came over me but I charged for my food and punched a seagull. I didn't think that I had really hit it that hard until I looked over the edge and saw it falling.

That put me in a really bad mood. I refused to get another one and there was that awkward silence as Jonny and Chris didn't know what to say. The knew I was annoyed as they didn't even make a joke for at least 2 hours. (never mess with my food!)

Incident 3:
This was the worst and emotionally scarred me for hours.
I was called up towards the guys cabin where a Senior High guest had thrown a rock at a seagull and managed to hit it. By the time I got there you could tell that it was pretty serious. It's neck was in a really bad position, it had thrown up food, and it was bleeding from under its wing and its mouth. I went to get a box to put it in and it was obvious that the thing was about to die. It couldn't keep its eyes open.

I decided that the good citizen that I am that I would help assist this bird with it's passing on to another life. I got Chris Evans as I needed the emotional support.

I won't go into the details as to how we ended the life of this bird but let me say. That thing put up a fight. We did break its neck but then it kept moving and rolling around. It took several attemps and we ended up doing other things that ensured its death. Being the good man that I am I put it in the box and decided that I would dispose of the body.

On my way to the dump I was stopped by a couple of staff outside the Tuck Shop. We stood there for easily 5 mins chatting about the day. I told them what was in the box and they wanted to see it so I showed it to them. Standing with the box under my arm I can only describe as one of the scariest moments in some time happened. I don't know what the bird did in the box but the thing jumped up and started moving. I screamed and dropped the box, i had to refrain from swearing cause that is how scared I was. I honestly thought that I had shat my pants. Shaking, I picked up the box ran up to the dump threw the box in and closed the lid.

I had to go and have a cup of Tea and a Kitkat chunky to recover. I have never killed an animal before and hope to never do it again.

My Burn after 2 weeks

My Burn after 2 weeks

Another Year, another burn

The summer started off in a way that I didn’t plan or want to happen. Exactly the same thing happened this year to the day that happened last year. Yes I burnt my hand again. Except this time it was worse. It wasn’t just one hand but on both. So you can imagine the fun I had trying to keep that from getting bumped.

I was making a cup of tea for myself and James King who comes up each year to teach the staff on first aid. I personally think that he sets me up to get burnt cause it happens each time that he is up. It works out well. He has a real life example of a 2nd degree burn and examples of what you shouldn’t do. (I did the right thing this year actually)

It sounds like hero story but that was not the intention. As I said, I was making tea and I started to carry it back to the table. As I turned around these kids started running in my direction and were running towards me. At the last moment I turned round quickly so as to not pour the tea over them. The result was I poured the tea over both hands. I wanted to drop the tea and scream but sitting right in front of me was a 2 year old child and a grandmother. I gritted my teeth and walked to the nearest table, set down the drinks and ran to the kitchen where I filled up a bucket of water and proceeded to keep my hands submerged for over 30 mins. That night was the worst. I couldn’t believe how much my hands were still burning after 4 hours. I ended up having to sleep on the sofa with my hands dangling into buckets of water. This caused me some concern as I remember that we used to prank people by dipping their fingers in water while they were sleeping so that they wet the bed. I was just setting myself up for a disaster.

Just to let you know that I did not wet the sofa. I did wake up with an estimated 21 seconds to make it to the nearest toilet. My timing was wrong, I did not make it to the toilet, the nearest bush suffered. I think that was a little too much information.

Soooo Sorry

I do apologise for my lack of updates this past month or so. Hopefully my lack of updates will give you an idea of how busy I have been. I keep meaning to but never get around to it. Over the next day or so I will try and update the random events that have happened this summer.

Congratulations Chris & Sarah

Abigayle Christine Holt Evans was born at 1:01 am june 11 2005. She came out 9 lbs. 8 oz.

I called into the hospital today to see them and can i just say that they have an amazingly beautiful baby.

Well done Chris & Sarah

Week 2 @ the Woods

It is Sunday night and I am sitting in the Muskoka Woods office in Toronto, I am just finishing up a few last minute details before I pick the J2 section head up at the airport and begin the journey up to camp. It is going to be a late night but I am really excited to spend a few hours chatting to Jen as I have only ever talked with her on the phone.

Week one up at the camp was a little crazy. The weather was incredible, and it seemed that each day was long. But when I look back now the time flew in. We have some amazing staff this summer and I am very excited and anxious to get the summer under way.

I had the opportunity to lead worship most mornings in our staff devotion times and I loved doing it. You might not know but I retired from playing music for over a year. I had lost the desire to play and not once did I pick up my guitar, but now I find myself slowly coming out of retirement. I wish I had the desire to practice more. Maybe that will come with time.

Week two will probably be just as crazy. It seems like there is so much going on that what you need to do will never get done. If only there were a few more hours in the day, and I didn't need my sleep so much.

Nothing strange or new really in my life, no random experiences or funnies to tell. I remember laughing a lot last week, yet I don't remember what I laughed at. I think I need to slow things down a bit.

Back at the Woods

This time of year has once again arrived. We are back up at the camp getting ready for the guests that are coming in this summer. As a directors team we have been together since the start of May and now the leadership have arrived and it is great getting to know them, catch up from last year and make them do the dumbest things cause at this stage of camp you can get away with it.

*

I am very excited for the summer on a personal note. This is somewhere that I feel alive, energised, challenged; where you are given responsibilities that you often feel that you shouldn't get. When you look back at other summers you realise how much you have grown spiritually and matured with the responsibility you are given.

*

Our staff for this summer is great and I am excited to see how this summer unfolds.

PK @ finish line - Nike RunTo 10k 

PK @ finish line 

Chris, Erika & PK - Nike RunTo 10k 

You know you are sore when........

• you have to use a handrail to help you get up the steps
• you have to use a handrail to help you get down the steps
• you have to swivel around and lower both feet at the same time to get out of the car
• your hamstrings feel 3 inches shorter than they should be
• you have to get down on one knee to pick up something you drop
• when you have to manually lift your foot up to take off your shoe
  
  Pics of the race to follow tomorrow

Nike RunTO 10K

Today was a great day. Chris, Erika and I headed off to Toronto Island where we were taking part in the Nike RunTO 10K.

The weather at times was beautiful and at times awful. We arrived early to the island and just enjoyed the festivities that were going on. We took advantage of the free breakfast, listened to the bands and took part in a little light warm up (well most of us Chris was too cool to do it) and then we headed off for the race. We were split into sections to stagger the starts. The horns sounded and off we headed. It was a fun race, there were over 11,000 people there and everyone was wearing bright orange t-shirts.

I was anxious about taking part in this race because of a few factors
1. I haven't really trained as much as I could have
2. I was running on my own (Chris and Erika decided to pace themselves a little more)
3. I really love KFC food and that is a regular in my diet. So I haven't really been eating healthy.

I was quite proud of myself not only for the time that i completed it in but also for the fact that i didn't stop once. I just kept plugging on. I did realise though that I get extra motivation when I run as don't really like people overtaking me, and I like to get back in front of them. Right now as i am writing this I can feel my body getting stiffer. I was going to write gradually getting stiffer but this aint no gradual thing. Oh boy i am going to be sore tomorrow.

And my time: 50 mins 40 seconds.

It's Been Too Long

Sorry that I haven't been on top of my blog recently but things have been pretty busy these last few weeks.

Camping: The camping trip was great fun. The purpose of this trip is just to gel as a team, get to know each other and build massive campfires. We ate great meals together, played games together and Mike and I also went looking for some Moose. We were unsuccessful.

Baseball: I had the opportunity to go to a baseball game. It was a great game and that fact that it only cost $2 made it even better. The Jays were playing Boston and it had all the drama that you would hope. On the 9th inning both teams were level with 6 a piece. Boston bat first - nothing and then it was up to the Jays to produce some magic. We ended up having players on first and second base. Reed Johnson steps up to the plate - BOOM - Home Run. Final Score Boston 6 Toronto 9. Not often that a game ends like that. Good Game Boys.

Bearded Lady: While driving this week I pulled up to the lights and decided to see who was in the car next to me. Bad Mistake - there was a lady plucking hair from her chin. Gross.

Cottage: For the Long Weekend I headed off to Erika Schryer’s cottage. This is an amazing cottage as it was build by her dad. It is a big cottage and one of the best things I love about it is that there is no electricity. When you go there you take on what is called "cottage time". You put away anything that tells you the time and you eat when you are hungry and sleep when you are tired. I did realise that I am not really suited to cottage time. Eating when you are hungry and sleeping when you are tired really is a rule that I should not go by as I would be continually eating while I am in bed.

This trip was extremely relaxing as we just played games, went for hikes, chopped wood, built fires, went canoeing, and I did a spot of fishing. This turned out to be rather frustrating actually. Chris was taking a nap and Erika was reading. I thought that this would be a great time to do some more fishing. I dug up worms, gathered up all the gear I needed, dragged the canoe to the edge of the dock and set off. I must have been out there for easily 3 hours and caught.... nothing. At the end of my time I realised that I had fallen asleep in the canoe and was woken up to the sound of these 2 kids getting ready to fish off the end of their dock. They didn't have their lines in the water more than 30 seconds and they both caught a fish. At that point I packed up my stuff and headed back to land where I would sulk and take my frustration out by chopping more wood.

So that is a little of what i have been up to this past week or so. Did you do anything nice this week?

I will post pictures of these events when I get them on my computer. I won't be putting up a picture of the Bearded Lady.

freaky canadians

Why is it that at the end of movies Canadians feel the urge to clap. I was at the movies on Saturday and at the end of the movie it was almost like a standing ovation. The reason that they were standing was ultimately because they were leaving. But why the need to clap.

Weird.

God can still use lazy, spiteful people

For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. Matt 6: 21.

This was the verse that the pastor was talking about on Sunday morning. He was saying that the things that we treasure can dictate the way we live out our lives. How that often we need to let go of things that have a grip on us.

For his example he talked about his Day-timer. And how that he didn’t realise how much he used and relied on it until he misplaced it. He realised that when he had his day-timer so much of his life was dictated by what it said. If people came to visit him he wouldn’t be able to meet them because maybe he had a meeting or a lunch appointment. Having the Day-timer meant that he had taken the ability to be flexible out of his life.

Yet he didn’t give up on looking for this day-timer. He visited the following places asking for his AWOL Day-timer: all the coffee shops he had been to over the past weeks, the grocery stores, his barber shop (twice), houses that he had visited and the list went on. In the end he went and bought a replacement, as he needed a basic one to remind him of meetings etc.

It was at this point that my whole body started to sweat; I felt sick; I went red in the face and slowly slouched down in the seat that I was sitting in. This day-timer that he had franticly been looking everywhere for and had taken a considerable amount of time to talk about was in fact in the truck that I have been driving. And to make it worse, I knew it was there all along. He had borrowed the truck while I was away in Michigan and when I retuned and was sitting in the truck about to leave I saw it there, above my head in behind the visor (if that is what it is called). I could have taken it into him immediately but I didn’t. (that was the laziness part)

I missed the main message of what Paul was preaching to us on Sunday morning because I learnt a lesson myself.

Not giving the Day-timer back was probably 30% laziness and 70% spite.

I had sent Paul an email a few weeks ago looking for some answers to questions that I had been thinking about, advice on what I was reading at that time, and books that could be helpful for futher study. Yet he still hadn’t replied. I remember joking with Jono that until he gives me back something that is important to me (the answers to my questions) then I would wait to give him back something that was important to him.

I would probably say that I am a little harsh on myself because I did have the book sitting on my front of the truck last week planning on giving it to him. But in my rush I forgot to bring it in.

Oops.

What made it worse was that towards the end of the service (still in church with everyone there) Chris Evans decided to announce to Paul, while he was still preaching that I did in fact have his Day-timer. Thanks Chris.

Won't forget that message for a while.

Camping Trip

On Tuesday myself and the rest of the Director Team for Muskoka Woods head off for a spot of camping. This is a great trip and one that i look forward to each year (wait - this is only my second trip)

It is a time for getting to know one another, fellowship, share ideas and stories, play some random games and it gives me the chance to make HUGE fires. I like fire.

I will give you an update on Friday of how the trip went.

What a horrible person I am

This event happened to me today and I feel that I need to share it with you all.

I was unable to finish my Chunky KitKat today.

I know - horrific, devastating, shocking, appalling, inexcusable . I don't know what to do. I nearly cried. I feel that my life hit a wall. I was travelling home from hanging out with Jono and Chris Evans and I noticed that I had a Chunky KitKat in my car (the King of Chocolate Bars). I opened it and after 3 bites I had to stop. I couldn’t continue. It was too much. I think I need counselling for this.

I have decided on the possibility of these two reasons as to why this event took place.

1. I had just been to the gym, so my body was still in 'I am going to be healthy mode' (what a crap excuse)

And the second

2. The Chunky KitKat has been in the car now for the past 5 days. The last number of days has seen our temperatures range between 7 degrees – 24 degrees. This KitKat has taken quite the amount of physical abuse with the heat. It has melted and reformed into what the wrapper allows it to form in numerous times. It was the most intense chocolate experience i have had, but it was too much. What a horrible person I am. Why would any one ever inflict that amount of pain on such an innocent bar of chocolate? What did he ever do to me? I don't think I will be able to sleep tonight.

As I write this I can see it looking at me – it is tempting me, but I can’t. It hurts that I can’t. I think I will have to go and set him in another room. It is too much, having him sitting there, watching me, judging me. He is probably thinking that I have someone else in my life, like a Twix or a Mars King-size. But I don’t, I promise – please believe me.
I want to apologise to all the other Chunky KitKats reading this. It will never happen again. You are still my favourite for now and for ever.

What Sad News

Today I received some very sad news. One of my favourite comedians Mitch Hedburg passed away on the 30th of March 2005. He was an extreemly talented comedian and will be missed by many.

A-B-C-D-E-F-G-H-?-?-?

You have probably gathered from my previous blogs that I am quite random, I think random thoughts, ask random questions, and experience random things.

Well today while I was driving into work I was thinking about the letters of the alphabet and singing the alphabet song to myself. I then came to wonder – who put the alphabet in the order that it is in? Was it the people that wrote the tune for the song? Is there any reasoning behind the order that we read it in?

Help!

I have been wondering for a while now where the term 'spitting image' came from. I know what it means and in which context to use it but what confuses me is why the word 'spitting' is included. Surely if two people spit it is not going to look the same. Especially if i have just eaten a Mars bar, and you have been drinking water for a few days.

I would really like some closure on this if anyone can help.

It's Official

While I was in my bed this morning, in between hitting the snooze button many times I decided that I would like to announce that my favourite pop (fizzy drink) is GINGER ALE.

Thank You

What a weird night!

Occasionally I have weird nights of sleeping. Whether it is where I wake up and realise that I am standing in the middle of the room, wake up in the morning and realise that I have switched to the opposite end of the bed, or jump off the top bunk and go to sleep on the floor (happened at Muskoka Woods). Last night was no exception and after sitting on the edge of my bed this morning for about 5 minutes I was able to piece this puzzle together.

You have heard of sleep walking, sleep talking and now you have heard of sleep eating.

I went to bed last night around 11.15 pm and i thought that i was out for the night. At 1.09 am I remember the phone ringing but being in a sleep mode I was unable to wake up to answer it. In my head I knew I needed to answer it but my body would not let me. The reason I wanted to answer it was because, let’s face it how many people phone me at 1.09 am in the morning.

As soon as the ringing stopped I can remember getting up and looking at my phone. I don’t remember the journey’s between the next few events I just remember being there. I remember standing in the bathroom looking in the mirror. This was a pointless event as the lights were not on – and I couldn’t see anything. I remember going into the spare room and flipping the matress over. I then remember sitting on my bed with my legs crossed (which I never do because it hurts) eating Bretton Crackers and Salsa dip. I know that this happened because my bed was covered in crumbs, my pillow had salsa on it and the crackers and salsa were sitting by my bed this morning. The funny thing is that I ate over half the box of crackers. And I remember leaving the crackers in the living room earlier that day, so part of my journey involved me travelling to the living room. I must try the combo again to see what it tastes like.

What a weird night.

So long farewell, auf weidersehen good-bye

Am I Mean

I was sitting out on the steps at the front of my house the other day thinking about how great the weather has been, plus i had burnt toast and the house smelt gross. While i was sitting there a car pulled up and the guy got up and came over to me. He asked if I was the Landlord - i am not - so i said no. He was meeting the Landlord at the house at 6pm to view it (because i am moving out at the end of May)

The more i chatted to him the more i want him to move in here whenever I leave. As you can tell i am not a huge fan of the folks downstairs. Well that is a lie, the husband Shawn is a great guy. Really nice to chat to, and very helpful. His wife on the other hand is not so pleasant.

I know what really annoys his wife because they are all the things that she has came to shout at me about. Those being: parking 2 cars in the driveway, the cable money due, music being played too loud, movies to loud, walking around with "steel shoes on", talking loud, not shoveling snow off the driveway and the list could go on.

(Which are all a joke: we walk around quietly, don’t make that much noise and one night the landlord came around to see us at 10.00pm and we were all in bed)

I asked him a few questions and what I got from him was - he will be moving in with 2 other male friends, they all have cars, he walks around like an elephant, they like parties (late parties) and he wants to put a table tennis table in the house. I couldn't help but smile.

So me being a really nice guy brought him in and showed him around the house. I used all my experience and knowledge of previously working in Sales & Marketing and really impressed him with the house.

I do hope he and his friends move in here.

PK 1 - 0 Basement people

(If you think that this is mean, I will update you in my next blog as to why she was going to call the police on me)

Incredibly Dumb

Last night around 7.40pm I was driving south on the 400 heading home (this is a major highway for those who are not Canadian). Two motorbikes screamed past me and as I didn’t see them or hear them coming, I jumped. They pulled in to the lane beside me and I couldn’t work out why they kept looking behind them as they rode.

The next thing I knew was that they guy checked back one more time, stood up and pulled a wheelie. Yes there was a guy, pulling a wheelie, while traveling south on the 400, traveling at 120 in the next lane to me.

Incredible, yet dumb. I stayed far enough back that I could still see well and appreciate this wonder, and also swerve if I needed to. I was prepared to administer my very basic first aid that learnt at a first aid course this past summer if he fell. He didn’t.

PK & Parents 

Our Trio's Down to Two

I can see what's happening
And they don't have a clue
They'll fall in love and here's the bottom line
Our trio's down to two. (Lion King)

The first three lines of that song have no relevance to what I am writing about; I am just using the last line.

OUR TRIO’S DOWN TO TWO

Today was a sad in the lives of 243 Johnston because our trio did become two. Cheryl moved out of our house today because on Tuesday she travels to India for a new and exciting adventure where she is going to be teaching. Good luck Cheryl.

SO that leaves myself and John Wood to battle with the crazy, psycho, foul mouthed freak who lives in the basement. Finally those months that we have been dreading have come upon us. She gave birth!

Usually what we have to cope each day with is:

• her partner clearing his throat in the morning (which I sleep through now)
  them arguing and using the most foul language that I have ever heard people shout at each other
• them shouting at the dogs when they bark even though the reason they bark is because they hardly ever let them out
• the TV as loud as being at the cinema
• her coming up to shout at me because I have parked the car in the wrong place or at the wrong angle
• or her reporting me (us) to the landlord and nearly to the police (that could be the next blog)

Now we have to put up with a crying baby, and her shouting at her partner saying “the f*ing baby won’t stop crying.” This would not be an environment that I would recommend a baby to be brought up in.

So Cheryl has gone, and tomorrow John Woods leaves to go to Europe for 3 weeks. I am home, alone with no support to help me cope with ‘ it ‘ downstairs. I suppose I could have started this part off with another line from a song. This is from the legendary band who will never be forgotten and we dream of the day that they will return and claim the world as their own - The Spice Girls - Two Become One......

Oh no, I can hear the baby warming up for a round of screaming. Time for the ear plugs. Good Night – I hope.

Oh My ! !

Oh My, I count unconsciously .

I don't know whether you know or not but I hate feet; I did mention it in an earlier blog I think. The summer for some people is a great thing, but some (like me) it definitely has a negative side. The feet come out. With it being warm, people feel that they should wear sandals. Usually buy the start of the summer I am used to them so the summer isn’t so bad, but the first month or so is challenging.

Do you ever do something but never realise that you do it and then WHAM you realise. I realised last summer that I do something but only remembered about it today. I count toes. I don't, know why, I can't explain it, I don't want to, I just do. I don’t do it all the time. But I do it sometimes. I need help.

Now I don't, walk around like some sicko looking for some victim in sandals that I can attack numerically. But sometimes I realise - that I have started sweating for no reason - unconscious of my behaviour - I am in a stare that can't be broken - the feeling of uncomfortable is now hitting a HIGH - overwhelmed - nauseous - then suddenly WHAM - I catch myself on, realising that in fact yes they do have the correct amount of toes that God gave them. I think that part of me would love to find someone with an extra toe so that I can point out why their feet are ugly. But to be honest I don,t know what I would do if I found someone with a toe missing or an extra one.

(I might possibly contact the two people and let the one that has a toe missing, that I know someone who has an extra toe so that they can approach them about maybe trading something for it. Like an extra finger if he has one and the other person has one less)

Wow, I feel the need to lie down.

My name is NOT André

There are not many things that I dislike about Canada but the one that tops the chart is how people get my name wrong. It happens a lot and it used to annoy me but now I have to see the humour in it. I didn’t think my accent is that strong – guess not

The worst place for this has to be one of my favorite food establishments, Licks, and the problem is when I am there usually Chris and Erika is with me. They find this very amusing and to stir the pot they call me André as much as possible when I am there.

At the start we thought that they were just saying it wrong but they actually write your name on the receipt. I have the evidence.

A couple of years ago I was at a conference in Toronto and this old lady thought that I was French, she got really annoyed when I called her an American. I laughed because she was really upset.

I think when I go in there I will start to use other names that could annoy them, names that are long and hard to spell like - Nebuchadnezzar, Belteshazzar, Zerubbabel, or a really hard one like ANDREW ! ! !

Eating My Own Vomit

I walked into the staff room where I work the other morning and Taryn was making herself breakfast. Being nosey I went and had a look at what she was making. She was having Oatmeal. It looked.... ok and smelt good so on the way home I decided that I would go and buy some. Instead of just buying one to try I bought a box that contained 12 packets of Apple Honey and Cinnamon Oatmeal.
I really wish that I had tried some of Taryns instead of buying this box. I don't now whether you have tried Oatmeal but it really isn't all that pleasant.
I don't see why people pay the money to eat something that feels like you are eating your own vomit. The texture of it in your mouth and as you 'try' to swallow this stuff really isn't an enjoyable experience.
The next day I tried something different. I got an apple and chopped it up and put it in the bowl of oatmeal thinking that this would make it better. No! All this did was make me feel like there were solids in my vomit.
I have been working my way through the box as I hate to see food go to waste. I have even tried adding extra honey to it, raisins, more water to make it less glupey (if that is a word). The worst was when I tried to put two packets together so that I would be able to get through this box quicker. Oh no...... I found myself gagging as I was eating; each mouthful was something that I had to work up to. I had to concentrate and attack it like I was attacking ......... something that you attack. I couldn't do it; I had to throw it out.
Do you ever think something and wish you hadn't thought of it because it really annoys you. Today I looked in this box and noticed that there is only one packet left. As soon as I noticed this I thought, 'why don't you give it to Taryn if she likes it so much?'
WHY DIDN'T I GIVE THEM ALL TO TARYN IF SHE LIKES THEM SO MUCH!!!!!
I think I will just stick to having no breakfast

Leather

Today I decided that people should have to have a licence to wear leather pants (trousers). People have to get a TV license, a dog licience and now they should need a leather license. The reason that I am thinking this way is because I saw some people today that should "NEVER!" "EVER!" wear leather trousers.

It is obvious that people wear them for attention, because it couldn't be for fashion. The folks today that I saw shouldn't have worn them because of their age, size, style, and walk. I think it will take me months to get over what I saw today. I am scared to close my eyes incase I picture it again.

Movies with Subtitles:

You may have realised by now that I love movies. I love all types of moves, but sometimes I struggle with movies that have subtitles. Part of me likes movies with subtitles because in a way it adds a totally different element to a movie, but I think that it should be put on the advertising more clearly. Recently I have watched a few movies that even though I scanned the DVD case I was unaware until I got home, sat down, started to relax, and put on the DVD that it was subtitled. When I go in to pick a movie I usually think about what sort of a mood I am in and that will decide what type of movie I want. This night I decided that I wanted a no-brainer night in, with no thinking just relaxing. Wasn’t I wrong when I heard a Spanish voice and words started to appear on the screen!

I sometimes struggle to watch movies and read at the same time. Often I get wrapped up in what is going on with the scene that I forget to read. By the time I start to read again I don’t know how many lines I have missed. Sometimes I think I have ADD…..

The other issue I have with subtitles is when there is swearing in the sentence. I think when I am watching a movie that doesn’t have subtitles I don’t notice the swearing as much as I should. When you are watching a movie with subtitles you are ultimately reading the script. When you read the bad words does that mean that I am swearing as well? Does that mean that it is doubly bad? (if doubly is a word)

Movies with Subtitles: Carandiru; Hero; Motorcycle Diaries; Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon

Movies with subtitles are like combining reading a book and watching the movies (seriously I hear you say in a sarcastic way) when you are reading a book you add your own ideas, you imaging what is going on and you can add your own style to the conversation. Doing this while watching the movie is fun. A great movie to do this with is the most recent movie I watched with subtitles, Motorcycle Diaries.

Let’s raise a toast to subtitles, but only when you are clearly informed by the poster or on the DVD case.

Holy Week

One thing that I love about Good Shepherd Church is that they follow the Christian Calendar, and for us, this week was Holy Week. This has been a great week because each night there has been something different on in the church where they build up to the Easter Weekend.
Monday: Paul Johansen (pastor) read to the church a short story that he wrote.

Tuesday: We watched 'The Passion of the Christ' movie.

Wednesday: Was a healing service where ("recording artist") Glen Soderholm came and led worship and shared a message.

Thursday: Foot washing service. For many this sounds weird and gross but thinking about it I don't know why churches don’t make this a regular event. For me this is the best example of community living, how we come together as a church and serve one another. Plus we are instructed to do it (John 13: 14 - 17)

Friday: This was the Good Friday morning where we think about Jesus' death and what that means to us. In a way we take on the grief and sadness, we reflect on the reasoning behind this event.

Sunday: Easter Sunday is a morning of praise. We started off with an Easter Breakfast where the church gathers together to share a meal with each other. The atmosphere is very different from the Friday service, rather than being reflective and sad is one of joy, and peace. We don't forget about Friday and what took place but we look to the fact that Jesus is no longer dead, but is alive.

This whole week is a great week of reflection, gathering as a community of believers and together we rejoice over the miracle of the resurrection and together think about the reason why this event had to take place.

I always look forward to Holy Week.

Got to love Jack Handy

I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good ideas.

Better not take a dog on the space shuttle, because if he sticks his head out when you're coming home his face might burn up.

If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn't open, and you friends are all watching you fall, I think a funny gag would be to pretend you were swimming.

If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid looking in a mirror, because I bet that will really throw you into a panic.

If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe you'll look like a dummy and people will try to catch you because, hey, free dummy.