Mr.pk

Rally Car Driving

2007-10-12T03:26:00.001Z

Amazing Rainbow

2007-10-12T02:32:00.000Z

Hightly Embarrasing

2007-09-11T03:55:00.000Z

So when I logged on to my blog account i must say that i am a little embarrased to how long it has been since i last posted.

Ah well it sucks but hey what can you do. I will update it now.

At the minute i am still in New Zealand. As usual i have had a few problems with immigration (i will explain later) but now have a proper visa that means i can stay here legally until the start of January 08. Camp does know that i am finishing just after xmas but i have not decided what i am doing when i finish here. I am throwing around a few ideas in my head.

I will try and upload heaps of pics below so you can just look and not be bored by my writings.

PK

Paragliding

2007-09-11T03:45:00.000Z

You may be thinking from the tile that i did Paragliding.. Heck no! i am a wimp and don't like heights but i do like other people that like heights.

One beautifully sunny afternoon i took a walk up the Mount and sat at the top and watched the Paragliding guys get geared up and run and jump off the edge of a mountain hoping that canopy catches them.

These guys were amazing. The way the Mount is there is a natural thermal that comes up from the sea. The guys that I watched just flew back and forth over the top of the Mount for ages then turned around and headed down to the beach for landing. It was really cool to watch and funny to see them try and take off.

I was talking to one guy who is the NZ precision champion. Apparently (according to him) he landed on the front of a speed boat out in the water. He only had to land within a certain distance of the boat but apparently he didn't want to get wet.

2007-09-11T03:40:00.000Z

View of the beach from half way up the Mount

View of Mt Maunganui from the top

The Ostrich

2007-09-11T03:39:00.000Z

We used to have this Ostrich on camp but we killed him and ate him. Only joking we didn't eat him. And we didn't kill him. He was a lonely big bird and wanted a lot of loving. Every time you would go to the edge of the fence he would either try to peck your face off or do the mating dance. The dance was funny (although it kinda made you feel a little uncomfortable)

We were gettting rid of it but first we had to get it in a trailer. I went to watch the guy trying to catch it and man did i laugh. They had to get it to the fence and then put a sock over its head so it can't see. That way you have more control. He has really weird feet and and very strong legs that are connected to those feet and if there is a connection between the Ostrich and you he will generally win.

He used to have a friend that lived with him but rumor has it that he ran into a fence and broke his neck. I think he was pushed.

Shark

2007-09-11T03:38:00.000Z

So Muckle was fishing and caught a shark. It was funny cause we needed to put is somewhere so we put it on the floor of the fridge. Didn't realise that one of the staff would get a mid night hunger attack, walk down to the kitchens and waslk into the fridge. He got quite the shock. Fun times.

We chopped it up and ate it.. Yummmmm

2 month review

2007-03-30T03:17:00.000Z

It has definately been too long since I last updated my site. I have realised it has been too long cause Tim Jebb reminds me every time he is on msn that i haven't done it. Well Tim this is for you.

Cirque Du Soleil

2007-03-30T02:38:00.000Z

I was able to strike something off my 11 things i want to do before i die list a few weeks ago, and that was to go and see a Cirque Du Soleil. Ok that was a lie cause i don't have a list of things i want to do before i die but i should probably do one.... anyway Myself and a few others headed up to Auckland to see Varekai, which means "wherever" in the Romany language of the gypsies. From the very start the show completley captivates your attention and before you realise it the interval is starting. During that time you sit in awe of what you just saw and look forward to the next part of the show. Thinking about these guys and what they do can only be summed up in one word 'stupid'. These guys are nuts..crazy.. I can't believe that they put themselves in the positions / heights that they do all to please some idiot from Ireland sitting there trying to hide his camera from the people that will take it off you. (you were not allowed cameras... he he I WON!) ok so the pics i have are pretty crap but that is because these folks move so fast, and i wasn't putting my flash on. The whole show was thoroughly entertaining and I will definately try and go and see another show when it is back on.

Fishing (Guys Only)

2007-03-29T03:09:00.000Z

Went up to Pahanui for a guys fishing trip. It was very fun and not a lot of fish of any good size were caught. Yet it was fun all the same. Jerry Johnson and a few mates came over one day and we headed out. Funny story: once again I was fishing with Jerry beside me. I had one leg over the edge of the boat relaxing, enjoying the weather, taking heaps of abuse for the amount of small fish I was catching and jerry says in an excited tone: oh there’s a shark. Muckle thinks that it was a Hammer Head Shark and it was about 7ft long. One of the other guys thought it was a different type of shark but I didn’t care as I took my leg out of the water quicker than Michael Flatly flaps his legs in Riverdance. The shark stole our bait and swam off. A few weeks before Muckle caught a shark and brought it back to camp. It was funny because we put it in the camp fridge on the floor. One of the guys who works here got hungry in the middle of the night and headed down to the kitchen opens up the fridge turns on the light and gets a fright when the shark is looking up at him.

Demo Derby

2007-03-29T03:08:00.000Z

One thing that Ireland doesn’t have is a demolition derby (at least I don’t think they have one) Once all the main races are done they bring out a water truck, soak the track and then a couple of hundred crap cars come out. Pretty much a demo derby is last man standing, or last car moving. It was fun. Unfortunately there were no cars rolled this time but there was a few on fire. Wow fire….

Stock Car

Super Saloon Series

2007-03-29T03:07:00.000Z

2007-03-29T03:06:00.000Z

2007-03-29T03:05:00.000Z

I arrived at the Demo Derby a little early so i took a walk around the pit area. I bumped into Steve Williams. NZ people should know who this guy is. He is NZ's highest paid sports star who doesnt' even play a sport. He is the caddy for Tiger Woods. It was cool talking to him, he had heard of Totara Springs and then showed me round his cars and explained the difference between Saloon cars and Super Saloon cars. I nodded my head a few times to let him think I was understanding what he was telling me. I am glad he didn't make me do a quiz.

Snow Patrol

2007-03-29T03:04:00.000Z

What a night. My sister was able to hook me up with some tickets for the Snow Patrol concert in Auckland in Feb. It was amazing. WHen we arrived we went to the gate and when I had given my name at the door I was handed an envelope. In the envelope was 5 free tickets and the Guest Pass (below). The only place that we were not allowed with this pass was the Dressing Room. It was cool after the show to go back stage and have a drink with them and also meet Evermore who were supporting Snow Patrol. I would definately have to say that Snow Patrol are one of my favourite bands. They put on such a good show.

All in all it was a good night. Props to Ruth and Sarah (for scoring the tickets)

Hamilton Zoo

2007-02-13T16:27:00.000Z

So it was Waitangi Day and i was off so i decided to go over to the Hamilton Zoo. To be honest it isn't anything special. I was disappointed to find that they didn't have a Kiwi at the Zoo. Apparantly they need a specific environment to live in and the Hamilton Zoo hasn't built one yet. They told me to go to Auckland or another Zoo that I can't pronounce cause there is too many letters in it.

It was a fun day apart from when i was at the furthest end of the Zoo from the reception there was a call on the speaker for the owner of a Blue Nissan Bluebird parked in the far carpark to come to reception. I had already been waiting for 10 mins for the tigers to come out for feeding and i wasn't going to miss it. It was definately worth waiting for. Anyway... i decided to make my way back to the reception and i finally got there tired, exhausted and a little sweaty. I arrived and said i was the driver of the Bule Nissan Bluebird (i said i was the driver because i am not the owner) she then looked confused. I repeated myself 'i am the driver of the Blue Nissan Bluebird' the light blub flashed abover her head and she rememberd about the call. It turned out that there was another Blue Nissan Bluebird in the far carpark because the guy had already turned up as he had left the key in the boot. I knew it definately wan't me because i was holding the key. I asked if she could arrange a lift for me back round to the tiger area because she had made me walk the whole way around for nothing. She didn't hesistate to say No! So i walked.

Hamilton Zoo

2007-02-13T15:30:00.000Z

White Rhinoceros

This is the biggest Rhinoceros they have weighing in a small 2.2 tonne

Interesting fact: White Rhinoceros and Black Rhinoceros are exactly the same. The name chance comes from the shape of the mouth. A white Rhinoceros has a flat bottom lip for picking up food off the ground (grass / hay) where a black Rhinoceros has more of a pointed lip so that it can rip off leaves etc from trees / bushes.

Rhinoceros poo is huge. One lump was probably the size of a soccer / football.

Feeding time for the Tiger

They hid the food around the water as it is the natural area for tigers to go to for food. In the wild they will generally chase their prey towards the water.

Hamilton Zoo: Black-Handed Spider Monkey

2007-02-13T04:16:00.000Z

This is a Black-Handed Spider Monkey. These guys are funny. The Zoo Keeper was in talking about the Monkeys while i was there. The monkey above ran behind her and stole her radio. She chased it for easily 5 mins. It was really cheeky and teased her by holding it out to her then running away. I laughed out loud.

Again with the radio

Parachute 07

2007-02-08T03:41:00.000Z

Mumsdollar

Hillsongs Worship

Trevor: Lead singer of Thousand Foot Krutch

Third Day joined by Darlene Zschech

Mystery Creek just hosted the annual Parachute Festivle. This is a time when the top NZ bands and a few from overseas come for a weekend full of music, fun and little sleep. I still had to work during during this weekend so i travelled out every day after lunch. This was a great weekend as i got to see some of my fav bands. I think my fav band of the weekend was a band called Spacifix. Didn't know who they were but Elise and myself decided to stay while the others left to go to another show. It rocked...

It was also cool during the weekend because Thousand Foot Krutch played and i got to meet up with Joel the Bass player as I know him from Canada. We were going to meet up for breakfast the next morning after their show but i couldn't get off work. Suckky...

Other bands i saw: Late 80s Mercedes: Rivertribe: Mumsdollar: The Holy Rollers: Katy Ray: Nesian Mystik: The Lads: Spacifix: Rapture Ruckus: Shooting Stars: Shawn McDonald: Radiator: Rebecca St James: Thousand Foot Krutch: Detour 180: Lt Funk: Magnify: Darlene Zschech & The Hillsong Worship Team: Third Day: Dave Dobbyn.

The night that Darlene and Hillsong played Joyce Myers also spoke. She was really good. I liked her.

Speedway @ Baypark

2007-02-08T03:36:00.000Z

Super Saloon

It is all fun and games till someone ends up in an Ambulance.

So this is the Speedway over at the Baypark Stadium. These nights are soo much fun. Can't wait for this weekend because there is the regular speedway races and it finishes with a Demolition Derby. I will take pics..

Drive Home

2007-02-08T03:11:00.000Z

Roy: Keep your eyes on the road!

Some waterfall. It was pretty interesting

Mt. Ruapehu

We had a huge camp come in on the 27th of Dec so we drove up from Wellington (6hr drive) on the 26th. It was a really cool drive up and we were blessed with some amazing views

Napier - How High Can You Jump

2007-02-08T03:06:00.000Z

This is called a jumping pillow. It is the same shape as a pillow and you get to jump on it. It is more fun than I can explain.

These kids didn't last to long on this..... Ha ha.... Once you double bounce
them a few times they cry and leave.. lol

The name of the street that our accommodation was on

If you ever go to the Napier top 10 Holiday Park these are the rules for the Jumping Pillow

Lonestar

2007-02-08T02:59:00.000Z

It sucks for those who live in Ireland cause you don't have a Lonestar. If you want a good feed then you need to go to a Lonestar. I pretty much get the same thing each time. I often wonder how I fit it all in my stomach.

Te Papa (Maori for Our Place)

2007-02-08T02:23:00.000Z

Roy spinning the ball

Rachael was about to try but Roy suggested that she shouldn't incase she got hurt

PK infront of a Marae - it is a Maori meeting house. You can't wear shoses in there as it is disrepectful. This one is for show but you have to have a Powhiri (a Maori Welcome) to enter a proper one. They sing (a call) you in.

Some of the amazing wood sculpture inside the Marae

This is a huge wind turbine at Wellington. If you are going to go there.. Good luck. It took Rachael and Roy ages to find it. If you click the pic you can see Rachael and I standing at the bottom of it. It was pretty big.

* * * * * * * * * * * * *

During our time in Wellington we went to Te Papa. It is a kinda museum place and it was very fun. This is for a few reason. 1: there are buttons to push that make things light up 2: I learnt some of the history of NZ 3: IT WAS FREE ! ! !

Roy had fun pushing the big ball round pretending that he was strong when really Rachaels 2 year old sister Katie could have pushed it round with her baby finger. We smiled, nodded, said well done Roy and left. I banged my knee while we were walking back to the car because we stopped so I could race Roy up a rope ladder (he won, I had to withdraw due to injury) it hurt a lot.

December in Wellington

2007-02-08T02:10:00.000Z

Rachaels sister Lucy feeding the Deer!

Lucy and Katie feeding the Deer!

Roy trying to catch one of the ducks - he nearly got one..

Roy feeding PK. I sneaked in to the cage to be fed as i was hungry.

Roy (who I promise wasn't drunk.. just bad timing i guess) Lucy, Katie and Rachael

Sailing around Cooks Island

2007-02-08T01:21:00.000Z

It is a hard life sitting on a 35 ft Yacht in the middle of Wellington Harbor

Roger (leg & hand) Roy, John & Rachael

Holding on for my life as my side of the boat was tipped into the water.

Our Boat

One of the afternoons Rachaels step-dad aranged for us to go out on his friends 35ft yacht. This was really fun as I had never been on a big yacht before. It was quite scary for me and the rest of the folks on board when I was handed the stick thing and told to steer. (i realise that there is a proper name for the 'stick thing' and probably a proper word for steering) I have watched on TV when a yacht is going fast and one side is fully out of the water. Yea this happened to me but I didn't mean for it to happen. Plus I didn't know how to not make it happen. It is funny when you look up and the folks at the top are fighting to hold on cause they can't get any grip on their feet. I laughed out loud at them. Fun times. I would definately go sailing again.

Whats Next???

2006-12-19T22:17:00.000Z

Tommorrow is my last work day before Christmas and Myself, Rachael & Roy are heading down to Wellington for Christmas. Rachaels family are down there so we are going to crash that party. We are taking our time to get down and staying a few nights in Napier. I don't know anything about Napier so i will update you when i get back. January at camp is stupid busy so updates could be low (kinda like normal) but i will definately try not to be as lazy.

Nothing funny to write as i am not in a funny mood. Check back for the usual stupid humor of Pk another time.

Later...

Ouch

2006-12-19T21:05:00.000Z

So I have been back in NZ for a while now and just got word the other week that Immigration NZ has approve me to stay for another year. I am excited about this cause I love the work that i do, and i am meeting some really cool people here.

Went to see U2 in Auckland. It was amazing. I don't think it was as good as the show i saw in Toronto but good all the same.

After U2 we headed up the coast to go fishing again. Great fun, good craic and not that many fish. I did catch the biggest and the most random fish. I think Jerry is getting pissed off when i go cause i kick his butt.. ha ha suck it up buttercup

It wasn't really that sunny but turns out it was.

Funny Prank

2006-12-19T20:26:00.000Z

A few of the guys put one of the other guys boat into the pool. It was definatly funny.

Christmas in November

2006-12-19T20:00:00.000Z

This is Julie my bro's wife. I put this up cause i knew she would hate me putting it up!

Ho Ho Ho... Merry Christmas

So while i was home in Ireland my mum decided that we would do Christmas early because i won't be in Ireland for Christmas. So early November the Christmas tree and all the house decorations went up and one evening my parents, grandparents, brother and his wife and my sis all came together to have our Christmas dinner. It rocked for me cause i got to have a proper Christmas dinner that i would have missed but it probably rocked more for them cause I was there (only joking) but the fact that they would have another Christmas dinner on the actual day. Lucky...

LA For The Day

2006-10-19T17:00:00.000Z

How much of LA can one person see in one day?
Quite a lot actually.

I arrived into LA and walked out to the exit of the Airport disappointed. One of my favorite TV shows is LAX, not just because of Heather Locklear (but that is at least 70%) but I actually like the show. Thinking about the show and the airport I am not convinced that they actually film there. The airport isn’t that flash (maybe it was just the part I was in) and I did not see Heather. I thought she would have been waiting for me at the arrival gate.

I noticed a few things about LA straight away. I am very poor. Most people there are not. If you do not have a dog you are not cool. Everyone has a dog and if they don’t have the actual dog they have pictures of it. Our driver had a pic of his dog on his dashboard and so did many other cars that I drove past.

I got on a shuttle bus because I wanted to see the sites ASAP. The last time I was scared in a Taxi was in Spain but that was nothing to the horror that this driver put us all through. He was very verbal (and not the words you would say in front of your parents) he was horn happy and I was genuinely scared. He dropped me off at the Grauman’s Chinese Theatre which is the central tourist point on Hollywood Road. It is parallel to Sunset Boulevard and leads you to Rodeo Drive where all the expensive shops are. Outside the Theater is where all the hand prints are in the concrete. There is a vast range of hand prints and many names I have never heard of but I have pics below.

I was planning on sleeping in the Airport but I decided to drop my stuff off at a local hostel as I didn’t want to carry all my stuff around.

I dropped my stuff off and headed back to the Theatre as this was the pick up for my City Tour. This was a cool tour as it took you round all the areas of Hollywood that you would want to see. We went to the Magic Theatre on the top of the hill. The theater was not that exciting for me but it is the best place to view the Hollywood sign.
(Interesting fact about the Hollywood sign. It used to read Hollywoodland as it was used as advertising for a real estate company. But after a dejected actress jumped of the H to end her failed career they decided to review what it was known for)
The tour was great and the guy who did all the talking was fun. He like me cause I was from Belfast. The rest of the people were other Americans and Asians who couldn’t speak English but liked to take pics. We went all around the celebrity’s houses (pics below) drove past the shop that Winona Ryder had sticky fingers in, the park where George Michael became ‘famous’ and the House of Blues club where many musicians start off their careers.

I never did get to see someone famous but I was given an invitation to the unveiling of a star. The stars are all along the sidewalk. You get them awarded for 4 reason: movies, music, radio and television. I was invited Bruce Willis getting his star presented. I didn’t go as I had to be on the plane.

After the tour I was talking to some random guy and got a free ticket to be in the Audience for a live showing of Family Feud (hosted by a guy who was on Seinfeld)

After the show I walked up the town and went into the Guinness Records Museum, Ripley’s Believe it or Not Museum, and the Waxwork museum. These were all fun. I then headed back to my hostel and was about to enter and realized that the road had been closed off. They were filming the new Ford commercial and it was a big job. I didn’t realize how many people they needed to film a commercial. It was cool to watch, I had a look in the new car chatted to some random people and headed off to get a sleep before my early rise and hopefully not scary trip to the airport (and yes it was scary and he nearly got me there late. I think it was Samuel Jackson driving. He told me he fought in the war. I told him that I have never fought in a war. The conversation stopped there and I went back to closing my eyes.

I jumped on the plane. Next stop Toronto.

LA

2006-10-19T14:05:00.000Z

Grauman's Chinese Theatre

Steven Segal

Frank Sinatra

Julie Andrews

LA.

2006-10-19T05:06:00.000Z

Sylvester Stallone

Bruce Willis

John Lennon

Mic Jagger

Dr Phil

LA..

2006-10-19T05:05:00.000Z

Charlies Angels
Hannibal Lectre

Chuck Norris

Guinnes World Records fattest man

Beverly Hillbillies

LA...

2006-10-19T05:04:00.000Z

The Joker

Captin Hook

Captin Jack Sparrow

Jesus

Samuel Jackson
he looked the most real out of them all, he also looked like my Taxi driver
(the one that fought in th war)

LA....

2006-10-19T05:03:00.000Z

Tom Hanks

Terminator

Willy Wonka

Titanic

Star Wars

LA.....

2006-10-19T05:02:00.000Z

Guinness Records - Gretzky

Funny RIP

Guinness Records - Marino

Another funny RIP

October Fishing Trip

2006-10-18T13:30:00.000Z

The other morning myself, Dave and Tania set off at 7am and headed for our lengthy journey in to the middle of nowhere to fish for a few days. The first hour and a half of traveling was fun because it was on regular roads. The last 2 1/2 hours were on a one dirt track road that you average a speed of 35 kms an hour and it is extremely windy. We arrived at the car park where we unloaded and started our hike to get to our boat. The boat was a 1 hour walk into the bush and it was pretty tough. We only found out at the end that the walk was a continual climb and by the time you got to the boat you had climbed 1000ft. (the walk back was definately more enjoyable)

We jumped into the rowing boat and made our way in the rough winds over the lake for a good 3 km row to our cabin. The cabin was cool. Cool in two ways. 1. the cool being that is was good and 2. the other cool that means that it was freezing.

The fishing was really fun. Over the course of the 3 days we caught about 21 trout ranging from the smallest one (that Dave Muckle caught) to the 2 largest that Tania and myself caught. The weather was very random. One evening myself and Dave went out and we got soaked during a down pour. The next day we couldn't see 20 ft in front of us because of a Snow Blizzard, on the last day when we got up everything was frozen with snow on the ground but after an hour or two you would have needed Sun Lotion.

I have added pics below of the trip.

Fishing Trip

2006-10-18T13:25:00.000Z

Gotta love the boat (we ended up having to use our life jackets as a pillow. I never knew how much your ass could hurt after rowing)

Our lovely little cabin. It sleeps 18 but we were the only ones there.

Wild horses on our trip down. Tania was very excited and MADE David get out and take a pic.

In the middle of the lake there was another island.
If you climb up these steps you get to a lake within a lake.

Tania standing at the lake within the lake

Fishing Trip.

2006-10-18T13:20:00.000Z

My first catch

One of my biggest catches

The end of the trip. Packing up

Tania rowing when the blizzard was starting

Tania's good catch

Fishing Trip..

2006-10-18T13:19:00.000Z

Outside the cabin

We moved the boat

I like this shot

Our lovely boat
Picture Perfect

Fishing Trip...

2006-10-18T13:15:00.000Z

Fishing Rocks!

View on the last morning from our cabin

Rowing into the hut to drop off the boat

Hard Life

Cream Crackered

2006-10-03T17:42:00.000Z

I am completly cream crackered. Just went through a pretty intense few weeks.

Friday 15 - Organising and running an auction to raise money for the work we do here at the springs. Raised $12 thousand big ones.

Monday 18th - Friday 22nd - Sports camp. A week of sports for the North Harbor kids. (over 200 kids)

Saturday 24th - Leaders training (the leaders come in for a days training before kids camp starts)

Sunday 25th - Friday 29th - 210 kids and 70 leaders arrive for kids camp

Friday 29th - 2nd Oct - kids leave and teens arrive for Teens Camp. Had about another 70 here for that

2nd Oct - Leaders arrive for junior kids camp

3rd Oct - approx 50 junior kids arrive for 4 days of camp.

So sleep is looking good. I will write an update of what is happening over the next week or so.

6 / 7 October going to the Leaders Summit conference in Tauranga (run by Willowpark)
9 / 10 / 11 - Going deep into the bush for some fishing / relaxing.

SO that is about it. That is the reason as to why there has been no updates lately. Oh and i haven't cut my hair in months. Look like my mum but longer and more out of control. I am just keeping it going cause some people here don't like it. Gotta be annoying.

And my ipod got nabbed at teens camp so i don't have an ipod any more. Conacted my Insurance to see if i can claim back on it...... fingers crossed.

Peace...

Media - makes me laugh

2006-09-18T11:50:00.000Z

Today I was listening to the radio and what I heard was the most stupid thing I have heard in quite a while. The radio station in between songs would have a quick ad stating that they are the only station that has no advertisements between 8 – 10 pm. But the weird thing is, are they not advertising that they don’t have advertisements. Surely that is an advertisement.

Yes Prime Minister

2006-09-18T11:49:00.000Z

I flicked on the TV and saw the New Zealand Prime Minster talking live on TV. Not caring to much for her I turned to another channel only to find the New Zealand prime minister also talking live on that channel. How can it be that she is live on two channels? Please tell me that she doesn’t have a twin. It is scary having one of her.

Some Funnies

2006-08-25T14:34:00.000Z

Deep In a Cave

2006-08-22T19:01:00.000Z

The team ready to hit the cave

PK deep in the cave system

PK, Tania & Jenny

PK, Buzz, Reece & Muckle

PK exiting the cave

2006-08-22T18:45:00.000Z

Some of the caves were quite a squeeze

PK & Buzz

Coming out of the cave

What is it called when a stalictite meets a stalicmite? What ever it is called this is the biggest one of it in New Zealand.

Reece & PK outside the cave. Funny thing is that it is around 4pm and it looks like it is night time. You have to walk quite a bit into the bush to get to the entrance and exit of the cave.

Lets Find Me a Possum

2006-08-22T17:12:00.000Z

Reece & Pk

So apparantly Possums came from Australia. I am not really sure that they did or if it is another story that the New Zealand people have convinced themselves of to dislike Aussie people even more. Anyway Australia don't have a problem with them because Possums have their own predators that sort them out. Unfortunately Possums over here don't have predators so we have to be the predators. They are a pain in the butt. They distroy the trees and eat the fruit off the fruit trees that we have around camp, and they mulitiply like crazy.

So the other Sunday night we set off. Wrapped in warm clothes, we jumped on the back of a motorbike (quads to normal people but NZ folks call them bikes) attached a really powerful light to the battery Muckle driving, Reece on the back left armed with a 22 and myself back right with a shotgun. We drove all around our property shining the light all around us, into the bushes and up into the trees. That is the best way to find them cause they look into the light and you can see their eyes shine. Depending on the range was whether Reece or myself got the shot. If it needed a sight then Reece stepped forward with the 22 otherwise they let me have a go.

In total we got about 12 and you may think that is a lot (or too many) but I was walking around the property the next night and saw another 4 running around. So we did leave a few........ for another night.

Marthas Gold Mine @ Waihi

2006-08-14T05:25:00.000Z

Martha's Gold Mine @ Waihi - they have finished looking for gold and silver here. They are going to fill it with water and make it into a lake. Guess what..... it will take 12 years to fill.

The mine was making over 1 million dollars a week worth of gold and silver

The Muckles standing beside one of the small truck things they use to bring the gold / silver or crappy rock up in.

Rotorura Pics

2006-08-10T02:27:00.000Z

Traditional Maori Dance

No this wasn't modeled on my brother

Stinky Mud Pool (steam = hot)

Rotorura Pics cont...

2006-08-10T01:37:00.000Z

38Degree Hot Pool

Gondola Ride up to the Luge

Sam & Rachael coming up from the Luge

When you get on the Gondola they take a pic and when you come down they charge you $30 to buy the pic. No way.... We just took a pic of the pic. Looks good to me

One of the hot pools in the Maori Village

Tourist not a Terrorist

2006-08-08T01:53:00.000Z

Accents are a funny thing. With traveling a lot I don’t notice accents that much any more but according to NZ people my accent is pretty strong (ask my family and they will disagree) When I told someone that we were going to Rotorua to be a Tourist for the day they looked really shocked because they thought that I said I was going to be a terrorist.

Anyway. Off we headed to a place called Rotorua for the day. Myself, Rachael, Roy and Sam.

We had 3 things that we wanted to accomplish during our trip away and they were a trip to a Thermal Village, go up the Gondola and do the Luge and finally make a trip to the Polynesian Spa.

Thermal Village www.whakarewarewa.com

This was incredible to visit. It is a little community of Maori people who bring people into their town for tours and show you a little of the history of Maori people. They started off with a traditional dance, sang songs, performed the Haka and then took us on a tour of the natural thermal pools. These pools are almost hard to believe that they are natural. They are pools that are fed straight from the ground at crazy hot temperatures. The first pool they showed us was where they cooked their food. At the top of this pool it was between 85 and 93 degrees and at the bottom of the pool it can get up to 145 degrees. I was rather impressed with this until they took us to the next pool. This pool was smaller than the first yet it had bubbles coming to the surface of it. The top of this pool was 178 degrees (now that is warm). This village was a great trip, it smelt really bad because of the thermal pools. Almost like a nasty egg fart with a hint of gross. We had our traditional Hangi lunch (Hangi is a special way of cooking food under the ground using red hot rocks and steam.)

Gondola & Luge www.skylineskyrides.co.nz/rotorua/ssr_luge

Off to the Gondola we went. Up into the mountain side where we got our luges and shot down the track to the bottom where we got on another gondola and repeated the luge process another 4 times. The luge is kind of like a bobsleigh, without the ice and you don’t have to wear spandex (which I was a little disappointed in)

This was fun and a great way to bang into really slow people on the track. We discovered quite a violent streak in Rachael as she tried many times to push us over the edge.

From here we decided that we wanted to relax so we headed to the Polynesian Spa. Was this nice or what!! ! (No need to answer because it was)

Polynesian Spa www.polynesianspa.co.nz
We decided that we would pay the extra dollars to get the pools that the kids were not allowed in and what a great decision this was. These pools are outdoors and the air temperature was a little chilly so when we jumped in the first natural hot pool it was 38 degrees and very warm. You might not know (or even care) but I love baths so for me this was heaven, apart from the fact that I couldn’t properly lie back and that I was sharing it with 20 others, and i had shorts on… but the heat was nice. The pool got a little crowded so we decided to head to the pools that overlooked the sea. There were 3 different pools you could choose from but we went to the hottest one (of course). The pools were 39 degrees, 41degrees and 42 degrees and I found it fascinating that these were naturally hot pools. The water was sooo warm. The best thing to do was to get into a position that was comfortable and stay there. Do not move, do not breath to heavily as it could move the water around you and that water around you was hot. Occasionally we would jump out and go to the shower that they had. This was fun because it was a cold shower. The not so fun thing was that it was unclear the first time as to where the water jets would come out. You push the button and the shower hits you from all angles. There is no whimping out and only getting an arm wet. It is all or nothing. Then you jump back in the pool and feel your skin sizzle.

We stayed in there for ages but we decided to leave for two reasons, 1 being that we were getting a little light headed from the heat and second a bus load of Koreans arrived and they must have been tricked into thinking that it was cool to wear the tightest black spandex short shorts they could find and most of them decided that our pool was the best. We left.

We jumped back in to the 38 degree pool to finish off with and it was a little disappointing. The first time we jumped in it was very warm, now it wasn’t as warm, so I sat out and let my body cool down and then jumped back in.

It was a great day and I was very tired when I got home (wow I sound like my mum). I think you wouldn’t want to be a terrorist in Rotorura cause being a Tourist was way more fun.

Long Time No Blog

2006-08-06T15:02:00.000Z

So what have I been up to you are probably wondering? I have been rather busy. Jamie (who i replaced) left a few months ago and I knew I had to take on a lot but I have ended up doing more than realised. I will give you a brief rundown of the past few months

I haven’t been on too many holidays. We are just near the end of winter over here and it is pretty cold and rainy so that limits the amount of times that I can bless this country with my Speedo. But worry not… summer is coming fast.

We had a huge camp at the start of June called HM Rage. This is the celebration of the queen’s birthday and for some reason it is a holiday time in NZ. They get a week off. Crazy stuff. I would say she is more my queen than their queen and I don’t get a holiday when I am home. Anyway… The camp was fun and I didn’t realize that my role was as big as it was for this camp. It turned out that I was the main mc guy running the week. Stress aside it was a great time. We had some amazing bands play and on the final night in front of probably 500 people during our banquet live on stage I tried to phone the queen to sing happy birthday to her. I had her on speaker phone (can I call her ‘her’ – will I get in trouble for that) well I didn’t actually have her on speaker phone. It was the receptionist from Buckingham Palace that answered. When I asked if I could talk to the queen she was very polite and hung up the phone. So I decided to try again... same thing happened. Final time… she didn’t even answer. Good job that I was using Jeremy Bennets Cell phone. So I gave it to my NZ friend who went outside and rang and explained what we were doing, we came back on stage and over speaker phone we all (500 of us) sang happy birthday to the queen. Fun times. (Thinking about it, she probably heard my accent and thought that it was a threat)

Then we have had camps, more camps and more camps again since that. In the middle of July we had our Winter Kids Camp. This is the first camp that I have actually done since Jamie left and I was a little worried at first. But what a fun week it was. A few people have said that it is the best camp that they have ever been at. So I was quite pleased with the job that myself and Rachel (who I work with) had done. It was a carnival theme and the highlight for me was the last night. We changed the gym from being a gym into a circus. WE moved all the bleachers into a circle, put up edging around them, strung streamers and about 350 balloons to the ceiling. The kids earlier in the week had to put together a performance and the winning teams (or the ones that didn’t suck) got to perform during the circus. No one knew who was up next so all teams came prepared to act. We had a VIP section for the best cabin during the week and they had a sweet seating area, with comfy chairs and we had a waitress who served them drinks. We finished off with a huge dance, let the balloons down and then did a conga from the gym back to the dining room.

We have amazing leaders here at the camp and I love getting to know them. Their passion and energy for the work that they do almost scares me.

I don’t have any pics to add at the minute cause they are all on my ipod. And funny enough my ipod has frozen and it won’t let me get any of my files off it and it wants me to reformat it. It just adds to my frustration and makes me hate Apple even more. They really are the devil.

I shall go for now. I will definitely try and update it more frequently. I kept wanting to but the longer I leave it the more I have to write. Later Peeps….

U2 - Auckland

2006-03-11T05:24:00.000Z

I was saddened by the news that the U2 concert that I have ticket for was postponed due to illness of one of the family members of the band. Although I was sad, I am not angry because for me this makes me like U2 even more. It shows that family comes first. We can look at a band like that and all we see is their success and we think that that is their priority. It is good to see that the band has not let the music, limelight and success overtake what should be number one priority– family.

Looks like I will have to think of something else to do for St Patricks night. Shouldn't be too hard..

I think i will go fishing again for the weekend. Check back for more pics

Robbing a Bank at Church

2006-03-08T03:47:00.000Z

The blogs have been a little dry as of late because I haven't really done anything out of the ordinary that you would be interested in hearing about. I am getting excited though for St. Patrick's Day because I get to see U2 again. After the concert we are going to head to a friends house and do some more fishing. Hopefully the luck of the Irish will continue on the fishing trip.

I have been attending a church out here called Soul Vineyard. It is a small church with maybe only 20 regulars. It is a very new church and it has been held in someone's house but now we have a new meeting place. We are meeting in a restaurant. It is such a cool venue. They don't close down the restaurant which is slightly weird yet cool. Last week was the first of it and there was a dinner party of 8 in while we had church. They chatted and they kept the background music going the whole time. We just did our thing, sang our songs and chilled out.

There are a few things I really like about the new venue. The best being that I was able to order a cup of tea during the service last week. The restaurant does a special menu for the church and after it everyone hangs around for ages drinking coffee, hot chocolates or whatever. The restaurant used to be an old bank. WE were having a little nosey last week and got inside the safe. Boy that was a heavy door. I think it put me off ever considering robbing a bank. I think that if I was going to rob a bank I would have to plan it so the safe was already open. So it would be during work hours. But then that causes more problems because then you have to take people as hostages Ind i don't knowIif i like the thought of having stockings over my face. I don't believe I just went from Church to robbing a bank.

More U2 Pics

2006-03-06T03:42:00.000Z

What a stage

Epileptic Seizure City

What a stage setup!

I spy with my little eye something beginning with PK

Bono walking into the crowd!

Praying Mantis

2006-02-23T15:26:00.000Z

This is my new little friend. It is a Praying Mantis. It is called a Praying Mantis because of the way its front lets are positioned and it makes it look like it is praying. People thought that it would be funny to put it on my face. I thought that it would be great for a photo opportunity. I think it is a cool photo.

Luck of the Irish

2006-02-22T03:02:00.000Z

Once again I was back up to Coromandel for another weekend of fishing. Someone asked me the other day if I get bored doing it. And the answer to that is NO. I love it. It is so relaxing. We eat tones, sleep, chat and catch loads of fish.

Both days I was reasonably lucky when it came to fishing. In fact I got the biggest fish both days that we were out.

The first day (Saturday) fishing was going reasonably slow. We had tried a new way of doing it after getting some advice from the guy who runs the shop near us. You are only allowed to keep a certain size of Snapper (which is what you usually catch) and the days end was approaching rapidly and I had yet to put something of value into the keep bucket. Then the luck comes in. The line jerks and bang I got him. I reeled him in and the boys were standing ready with a net. In comes the big one for the day. The Trevally. Nice one.

Sunday was pretty much a repeat of Saturday with the exception that we changed location and went to the edge of a beautiful island. Same again with the catching crap fish. They were even so crap that I went and sat at the front of the boat and fished as I didn’t want to take up the room for the proper fishermen. After a while I came back and started casting out further. A couple of times I got my line snagged on the bottom and it took a while to get it off. The third time that this happened I thought that it was the same old deal but I was surprised as to how quickly I got it off. I started to wind in the line to make sure I had bait on it and just before it reached the surface I noticed I had a beauty. Net out and in the boat she came. We didn’t know what it was so I took it to the shop back at the site and he said that it was a Silver Drummer. Very rare and hard to catch and reel in. There you go. That was the story of the fishing weekend.

18, 19th Feb Pics

2006-02-22T01:04:00.000Z

This fish is called a Silver Drummer. Apparantly they are very rare to catch and they put up a fight. To be honest i didn't even realise that i had hooked him until i could see him in the water. I mean i fought for at least 25 mins to reel him up.

Trevally

this one was fun to catch. He put up a little fight but not enough win.

Trevally

Toughing moment before we wrenched his guts out

Caught me a Beauty ! !

2006-02-12T07:03:00.000Z

What fun we had catching and eating him

The two biggest fish of the day. What a beauty!!

Caught me a Beauty ! !

2006-02-12T00:08:00.000Z

From the majority of my pics it does look like all i have been doing is fishing. This isn't the case. But i thought that i would put up some more pics from my last fishing trip.

Jeremey and I headed back up the coast for some amazing fishing. Throughout the day we probably caught over 30 fish but most of them were really small and had to be thrown back. In the distance we could see gannets flying round in circles. That is a good sign because it means that it is dinner time and that is where you want to be to catch fish. We zip over in the boat and i witnessed one of the most incredible sights i have seen. There must have been 0ver 500 of these birds flying around. What they do is they dive bomb from about 20 - 30 feet into the water when they see fish. I wanted to get the camera out but i had Jeremy shouting at me to get my line in the water for some fish, and i was in awe at the number of birds hitting the water all around the boat.

While we were there even there were so many dophins swimming around us. I do have some videos of it if anyone would like to see it. We saw two whales swimming around us. I was excited and wanted Jeremy to take the boat closer to see them. He is the smart one and kindly reminded me of the dangers of being near whales in the water. He was in charge so we didn't go.

I put my line in the water again pretty soon i started to feel a bite (no it wasn't Jeremy) I waited patiently for him to bite again and he did. Snap the rod went back and i started to reel in my fish. (Tangent) I have fished the odd time but i wouldn't call myself a fisherman at any rate. I have never caught a big fish of any value or one that gave me a fight. This one did, but guess who won. Please enjoy the pics below. I enjoyed eating him.

Jeremey also caught a big one, but i won. Sorry Jeremy must be luck of the Irish.

Crash Bang

2006-02-11T23:58:00.000Z

Last night i headed to the local Speedway track for some Stock Car Racing. This was a lot of fun. I have watched some of these races on tv before but never appreciated until last night as to how fast they go. I thought that the stupid looking wings on top of the car were just for advertising. Oh wasn't i wrong. If they don't have these wings the cars literally take off. There were so many different type of races and it finished off with a 70 car demolition derby.

I have only ever been to one demolition derby before and that was in ass freezing weather in Canada. The cars they drive have to be super modified. NOT HERE, these were just regular cars that people didn't mind beating the crap out of. I think all you had to have to race was a car with no window in it and a helmet to wear. Crazy.

i don't have any of my own pics as of yet. i will get them soon. these are some pics off the website

Fishing Pics

2006-02-11T04:43:00.000Z

Jeremy got his tackle caught in some coral... ha ha that is funny..

As soon as we to wind the reel in music started playing. DaDum, DaDum we couldn't work out why. Then it came to the surface. It was a shark. Jeremy wouldn't let me try and lift it into the boat

Shark Splash

A close up of the coral that Jeremy got is tackle caught in

Fishing Pics

2006-02-11T04:33:00.000Z

Thought it would be cool to try and cross breed fish

We both caught the same fish

The first catch of the day

Fishing Pics

2006-02-11T03:59:00.000Z

Action shot! !

Not sure what it is but I think he was in Finding Nemo

This island is called Goat's island. We think it looks more like a rabbit.

We threw Nemo's friend back and all he did was float. Good one Brenda, way to kill a fish.

Turns out this hat wasn't a lucky hat

Enjoying the Sunset

2006-02-11T03:24:00.000Z

Enjoying the sunset

Making the most of the sunset

Kristen & Brenda

Coromandel Peninsula

2006-02-11T03:15:00.000Z

Brenda & Kristen, friend from Muskoka Woods who were working at Totara Springs when I arrrived. Including Jeremy the four of us headed up to Coromandel to do a spot of fishing.

Gotta do a spot of swimming

Coromandel Peninsula

2006-02-11T03:03:00.000Z

Coromandel Peninsula
Coromandel Peninsula
Coromandel Peninsula

We went up to Jeremy's caravan to go fishing but one of the afternoons it was too windy so we went for a drive. Some pic from the drive.

Flying here

2006-02-11T02:31:00.000Z

SO flying here was super fun… NOT! I guess the problem with booking a flight to New Zealand less than 24 hours before you fly out means you can’t be picky with what seat you get or what stop overs you DON’T get.

My flights were as follows

Belfast – London = 1 hr 10 mins
Stopover = 6 hours
London – Dubai – 6 hrs 45 mins
Stopover = 1 hour
Dubai – Singapore – 7 hrs 30 mins
Stopover = 45 mins
Singapore – Brisbane – 7 hours
Stopover = 50 mins
Brisbane – Auckland – 3 hrs 30 mins

Big props for Jeremy picking me up at the airport. He did fail to remind me that the temperature was going to be 27 degrees. So when i stepped out of the airport still wearing
my -4 degree Belfast clothes. Oh that was a fun car ride. I suppose i could have changed into shorts but it is a bit late thinking of that now.

One Month in Review

2006-02-08T23:29:00.000Z

One Month in Review

I have now been in New Zealand for one month and what a month it has been. It was quite the rushed last minute decision to come away and one that I would prefer not to do again. Not being able to settle myself and saying all the goodbyes that I needed to was tough.

But I am here now and this month has definitely had its ups and down. Settling into the camp and meeting new people was tough. With being at Muskoka Woods for the last 7 years I knew the way things were run inside out. But coming here and not fully knowing what I was about to undertake was defiantly hard.

The job that I am doing here is working in a 4 man Ministry Team. There is Jamie, who oversees all of the aspects of the ministry, Rachel, who is in charge of all the follow-up of the guests that come and stay here. She runs bible studies with them where she posts them out, the kids fill them in and send them back to be marked. Quite incredible how many kids sign up for this? Then there is Jeremy who is a kind of AV geek. He is sorts out all the promotional stuff whether it is leaflets, flyers, posters, promo videos and website stuff. Then there is little old me and my job is to do the programming side of the camp. Working to organize, plan and prepare future camps that are coming in. Planning themes, brainstorming ideas, research, and whatever random things that needed done.

I am finding it hard not to compare Totara Springs to Muskoka Woods but I think it is a natural thing to do. There are areas of the Woods that I prefer and there are areas of the Springs that I prefer. One big difference that I see is that in New Zealand people don’t sue. The camp itself can’t be sued for any injury or stupidity. Regulations and the ways things are done are completely different. For the woods you have to have a certificate to climb a ladder higher than say 8 rungs. The other day I was on the top of the roof of the auditorium taking off the plastic roofing to allow some air flow. The auditorium is an arch shaped building that is easily 100 ft up. The other day they needed someone to go down to the high ropes course and belay (not sure of the correct spelling) for someone. They sent me down even though I have no training. All I had to do was take 2 mins to learn how to do it. You learn pretty quickly when someone is climbing up.

Being here has definitely taken some getting used to. Every day I am thinking about the woods and how much it is a part of my life. I can get down very quickly if I think about it too long. The fact that I won’t be able to be there this summer and this will be the first summer in seven years. I miss the community that I had around me and the friends that supported me. The families that loved me and those that were committed to seeing me become my best potential. I don’t feel that I have that here. The age group of folks at the Springs are quite varied. I hang out with Jeremy Bennit the most and he has been incredible. I don’t think I would still be here if it wasn’t for him. I am writing this update in a place called Coromandel. We are at his caravan where we are spending the next couple of days fishing. (I will do another update with pics and stories about my trips). I have never met a more generous, humble and self sacrificing guy. It is incredible.

I will update in the next day or so with Pics for you to have a look at.

Have a great day

Sore Ankle

2005-12-24T15:50:00.000Z

SO recently my ankle has been giving me a little bother and I thought I would explain why.

In the summer of 2000 at Muskoka Woods I was teaching a football (soccer) class and we were having a match to finish off the week. It was a corner to the other team and the ball was crossed in. Being the huge figure that I am or the fact the ball came to me I jumped and headed the ball away. On my return to the ground I also took the weight of the person next to me as he had his arm on my shoulder. Down to the ground I went and ‘snap’ the ankle was gone. This may gross you out but I can vividly remember the sound of the bone breaking. Luckily my good buddy Tim Jebb was also there at the time and off he ran. Not because he was a wimp but rather cause he ran to radio the nurse. Lying there in the heap that I had just formed I was rather calm. I told one kid to run and get my inhaler, one to get me a bottle of water, some to take off their shoes and create a little pile of shoes that I could rest my ankle on and the others I sent to the tuck shop to get rid of them. Eventually the nurse’s cart came and with a little help from Tim and some other folks I was lifted onto the back of the cart.

It was lying in the Health Care centre waiting for the doctor to arrive that it hit me that I had actually broken my leg. When the doctor arrived he insisted on examining me. He grabbed my ankle and boy did it hurt. It was then that I was extremely rude to him. It was then that he injected me with Demerol. He won! I was out of it.

Tim and Mark Wallace were the lucky victims to take me to the hospital. I can’t remember the trip as I was off my face on the drug but talking to them later apparently it was quite the funny journey.

I arrived at the hospital and they refused to see me because I had no way of paying to be examined. Incredible!! Mark had to run out of the hospital and cash his pay check, come back and pay for me to be seen. As if I was in any state to remember to bring my Visa card.

After my operation they decided that they would teach me how to use crutches. Even though I had been using crutches for 4 days before I actually got the operation they took me down to the physio room. I insisted that I didn’t need to be shown, but they insisted that I did, and seeing that they were in charge of my dosage of Morphine I went along with them. They parked my wheel chair and gave me the crutches. I stood up and placed them under my arm. And that my friends is all I can remember because I blacked out because of the pain and the next thing I new I was back lying in my hospital bed. I had fainted and fallen on the floor. Good one hospital staff.

Leaving the hospital was possibly the sorest of my whole experiences. I was in my wheel chair with my leg extended out in front of me. A lady came to wheel me to the car. Not sure whether it is relevant but she was about 75 and I guarantee she doesn’t have her driving licence. And she shouldn’t have been pushing me to the car. As she swung the corner to leave my room she decided to look behind her and see if I had everything. What she didn’t realise was that as she turned she also turned the wheelchair. And you can probably guess that the result of my leg being jammed into the side of the wall brought many tears to my eyes. No matter how many time she apologised on the way down it didn’t make up for it.

A big thank you to Tim Jebb for all his help and special thanks to Mark Wallace for going on every single hospital trip with me, for holding my hand as I fell asleep and for holding my thigh when I woke up . Hold on here. Mark what were you actually doing. Lol. For trying to fit your whole body in one of the nurses small lockers. For putting on the gown with the ass missing at the back so that I wasn’t the only one wearing one, for getting caught being in the locker and wearing the gown by the nurses, for playing with all the instruments when the doctors left the room and most of all for just being you.

With a end result of 12 hospital visits, 1 operation, 1 night in hospital, 3 plaster casts, lots of Morphine and nearly $4000.00 spent this just proves why you need to get medical insurance. And I did. Thank you Endsleigh Insurance.

And that is why my ankle hurts today.

Broken Leg

2005-12-24T15:49:00.000Z

Post OP

2005-12-24T15:37:00.000Z

About to get plaster off for the first time since the operation.... exciting

Plaster OFF

2005-12-24T15:36:00.001Z

Plaster off..... grosss

War wound

Skinny Leg

2005-12-24T15:35:00.000Z

Wow look how skinny my leg is ! ! !

Something to think about

2005-12-16T16:06:00.000Z

---------

If the product says "Do not use if seal is broken", how are you supposed to open it and use it?

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If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales looklike the way they do?

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If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

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What do you do when you discover an endangered animal that only eats endangered plants?

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Why do people say "The alarm just went off" when really it just came on?

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Do you wake up or open your eyes first?

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If someone's peeing and halfway through they die, would they keep pissing or stop?

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Can you put a gay man in a straight jacket?

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Why do we push harder on the remote control when we knowthe battery is dead?

One thing I HATE ! !

2005-12-12T22:07:00.000Z

There are not many things that I hate in the world. Tonight I discovered something that I hate.

I had a great bath and shave and everything was going so well. I put on some aftershave to get that stinging effect that makes you feel cleaner. I put on my clothes and headed to my room. Oh I forgot to put on some deodorant. I went back into the bathroom grabbed my spray, stuck it up my t-shirt only to find that I in fact hadn’t lifted my deodorant but I had actually lifted my Shaving Gel. Gross........ It is a new can of Gel so the speed that it comes out is quicker than the speed of light so by the time I realised what was heppening it was too late. I had to carefully take off my new clean t-shirt and clean up the mess. Not Impressed. I was covered.

Once again I prove that I must read the labels.

Worth a look

2005-12-12T22:05:00.000Z

This is a website of a friend of mine. It is worth taking a look to read his article called Life in Belfast and Northern Ireland.

i have even been so kind as to provide you with a link. www.itsjaymac.blogspot.com

check it out and make sure you come back to pk's site

Toilet Talk

2005-12-11T18:05:00.000Z

I need a new HERO !

2005-12-06T19:31:00.000Z

It is a sad day in the life of a person when you have to consider changing who your hero is. For years my hero has been Andy McNabb. For those of you who don’t know about Andy McNabb I will tell you a little about him.

Andy McNab joined the infantry as a boy soldier. In 1984 he was 'badged' as a member of 22 SAS, and was involved in both covert and overt special operations worldwide. The motto of the SAS being Who Dares Wins. During the Gulf War he commanded Bravo Two Zero, a patrol that, in the words of his commanding officer, "will remain in regimental history forever."

He has been awarded the Distinguished Conduct Medal (DCM) and the Military Medal (MM), Andy McNab was also the British Army's most highly decorated serving soldier at the time that he left the SAS in February 1993.

He is also a known for being an amazing writer where he has written many books, Bravo Two Zero, Immediate Action are a few. I am not writing this to show you my knowledge of this guy (or that I know how to work Google) but rather what a great guy he is / was.

Yesterday I was reading the paper and I came across an article that has slightly tainted my view of him. He is now coming out with his own brand of clothing, not macho as you would think or hope but he has produced his own line of Ladies Lingere.

SAS legend Andy, 45, says some of the undies will be in camouflage pattern — and added: “This isn’t a joke.”

This is a sad day and it becomes even worse when you find out the name of his brand - Who Bares Wins.

I am thinking about changing my hero from Andy McNabb to Daniel from Karate Kid.

Worst time to sneeze

2005-11-24T17:29:00.000Z

Today I came to the conclusion that I know the worst place to sneeze. It is official the worst place to sneeze is when you are working as a monitor in a GCSE exam, the exam taking place in school gym with 70 people being very quiet.

I can think of something worse. Sneezing 3 times in a row. It sucked.

Guess Who???

2005-11-24T17:26:00.000Z

Moving Tip #48

2005-11-24T17:25:00.000Z

Drive Carefully

2005-11-24T17:24:00.000Z

No Trespassing

2005-11-24T17:21:00.000Z

Kids - You gotta love em

2005-11-19T16:50:00.000Z

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray:
"Take only ONE. God is watching."

Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies.

A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples.

* * * * * * * * * *

A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales.

The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small.

The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale.

Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible.

The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah".

The teacher asked, " What if Jonah went to hell?"The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".

* * * * * * * * * *

A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work.

As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."

You won't believe me!

2005-11-18T17:03:00.000Z

You may have noticed that I have been quite brown recently. I have the answer.

No I have not been using a sunbed. No I have not been lying in the sun. No I have not been using fake tan.

I was sitting in the house the other night watching TV and the stupid advertisements came on. I usually hate advertisements but this time it proved to be rather helpful.

On came an advertisement for a body lotion. And then it hit me. I have been using the same lotion. What I wasn't aware of was that it is called Boots Holiday Sun. Yes this lotion includes something that makes you seem like you are just back from holiday. I am not just back from holiday so therefore I should not be looking like I am just back from holiday.

Funny but sad. I thought that I had learnt my lesson until 4 nights later.

I decided that I wanted to wash my face. (Sometimes I do this) I went to the bathroom and filled the sink full of nice warm water. I looked around for some face wash as I didn't want to use regular soap. I looked at the cabinet and found one that said face on it. I grabbed it, opened the lid and put a healthy blob into the palm of my hand. I worked it into a rather great lather and applied it to my face. I then put my hands in the sink got them wet and continued to wash my face.

It was then that I realised that I had not used face wash but in fact i had used face moisturising lotion. The lotion and the water had created an oily paste and was sticking to my face. I struggled to turn on the tap but I struggled to do this as my hands were so slippy. I washed and washed and no matter how much water I used it wouldn't come off my hands. What was I going to do with my face? It was still thick with paste. Water wasn't going to work. I had to grab the towel and wipe it off. It took me quite a while to not only wash my face but to tidy up the bathroom with the oily, thick nasty paste that had seemed to end up everywhere.

The lesson I learnt this week. Fully read the labels on products that you use.

Jonathan Jordan - The Big Day

2005-11-18T16:59:00.000Z

The wedding

So my brother is finally married. This was one of the main reasons that I came home from Canada (other than the fact that the government was demanding it). It was a great day and lots of fun was had by all.

Being the best man (obviously) I had the honour of looking after the groom, holding the rings and giving a speech to round off the day. I didn’t really have to look after the groom that much as he is a big boy and I trusted that he knew what he was doing.

With regards the ring I did not trust myself to hold them. I have pretty much lost everything that I own at least once. This was not the best day for this to happen. To help me I had the help of Andrew Gibson. He stood next to me and just before the minister asked for them he passed them to me in stealth like motion. Smooth. Nobody knew.

And the speech. Where do I start? We arrived at the reception and I had a few minutes to myself so I decided to get out my speech to have a quick read over it. I opened the page and I stared in disbelief. I hadn’t brought the speech with me. I had with me the behaviour report of the 12 year old boy that I look after in the School I work in. Oh Crap.

To be honest I wasn’t nervous at all. And when it came to the speech I just wung it. Nothing prepared, and to be honest I can’t remember much of what I said (and it wasn’t because of the wine) but it seemed to go down well. There was plenty of laughs and I think I passed the occasion. Being at Muskoka Woods as much as I have means that speaking in front of large groups is not a problem to me.

Below are some pics of the occasion.

Champagne Fountain

2005-11-18T16:57:00.000Z

The Jordan Family

2005-11-18T16:54:00.000Z

Jonny & Julie Jordan

2005-11-18T16:39:00.000Z

Ready for the Big Day

2005-11-18T16:37:00.000Z

Truths

2005-10-24T22:21:00.000Z

Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones

:::

At the end of every party there is always a girl crying

:::

One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint -to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger

:::

Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly

:::

Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl

:::

Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush

:::

Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee

:::

Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited

:::

You can't respect a man who carries a dog

:::

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
:::

Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan

Nasty People

2005-10-22T22:54:00.000Z

This is what I do with the nasty comments that you leave me!

I NEED TO CONFESS

2005-10-21T21:00:00.000Z

Father forgive me because I have sinned..... blah blah.....................

(This blog needs to be read in a hurried, unstable and emotional state)

I need to confess something that has been ripping me apart for many weeks now. If you scroll further down the blog you will see a picture of Niagara Falls. It is a fake.

The day we went to Niagara was late in the evening and it was raining pretty heavily. As we arrived to the falls it was difficult to see anything. We tried to take pictures but because it was so dark it was a non event.

While walking up the main street we went into the Harley Davison store. Hanging on the wall was this huge poster of Niagara Falls. It looked beautiful, too beautiful not to take a picture of. I looked around and no one was watching. I took out my camera, shaking i proceeded to find the perfect angle. The angle that needed to fool everyone. Then it happened 'click' the lies were stored. Then I pretended everyone that I took that actual picture. I am so sorry. I have deceived friends, family, enemies, even a nation. How can I be trusted again.

Please forgive me

(If you look closely at the picture you can see that there is a crease in the poster)

Injured

2005-10-21T20:30:00.000Z

Right hand, index finger strain and bruising is the diagnosis of my injury. It all began when I arrived home and my sister wanted me to challenge me to a game on the Xbox. This was well and good and I did actually believe that I could beat her. Unfortunately that wasn't to be the case. It was obvious that she has wasted many hours playing a game as I was completely thrashed. Now thinking about it I think the word thrashed is kind. It wasn't even fair.

I pretended that I wasn't frustrated and that I didn't care what the game was like time to move on to a driving game. I could beat her in a driving game. I really did believe that. I acted confident as I selected my car, customised it so it looked as sexy as a car can look and off we went for the countdown. What I didn't know was that as well as Halo (the fighting game) she has wasted many hours on this game. The problem that I came across started when the race begun. It was obvious that her car was modified beyond belief and I wasn't going to be able to compete.

I looked at the calendar and smiled as I said a Yes!! Inside myself.
I said it inside as I didn't want anyone to know. The day was Tuesday, Ruth would be leaving for most of the night and I would be home alone with the Xbox. So I sat for easily 4 hours straight playing the racing game, competing, modifying, winning levels and gaining a large bank account in which I could customise my car.

I couldn't help but smile when Ruth walked in the room later that evening. I was confident that I would kill her in the race. We sat down, took our positions, watched the clock count down and off we went.

She destroyed me in that game. I went to bed pretending that I didn't care, that I wasn’t frustrated and that I enjoyed the fun of competing. BS

Resulting from that pride filled, jealous, unhealthy competitive nature experience was one really sore finger. On the game you have to accelerate with your index finger. Sitting for easily 6 hours that day straining my finger has left it extremely sore.

I think I learnt my lesson that day.............. Get tape and tape down the button.

Right hand, index finger strain and bruising is the diagnosis of my injury.

I have to change my nose picking finger

Laughing while i Vomit

2005-09-22T18:35:00.000Z

I haven't thrown up in quite some time but last night was an experience that i don't want to go through again.

Being the jolly good chap that I am I told Chris and Erika that I would take the dog out to the back garden to pee as Erika was tired and Chris didn't feel well. I grab the lead and attach it to Boston's collar and out we go. (lead is needed as you spend 15 mins trying to get him out from below the shed in the dark - not so much fun) Boston runs down the steps and starts to inhale the rest of Kody's dinner (Kody is the other dog - don't worry they only have 2)

He finally finishes and he goes over to the grass to do his number one's, number two's would come later as I would find out.

I was coming out of the Bathroom after brushing my teeth I turned the corner to walk into my room and i was about to step down I noticed Boston in mid motion of taking a crap on the floor. I stopped my forward motion because I could see that were I was headed was right on top of his first little present of the night. I shouted at Boston to follow me as I took him downstairs where there was no carpet. Oh, but by the time he got downstairs he had finished his buisness. Convenient.....

Armed with some spray and a load of cloth I headed up to my room to attack the objects that he had so kindly left for me. I hate doing things like this because when it comes to items that come out of either end I really struggle to keep my stomach together. I had no longer started to clean up than the dry heaving started. Then the dry heaving turned a little more serious and found myself over the loo and I was no longer dry heaving, this was the real deal.

(i realise that this is probably gross, thank you for being patient)

After a few minutes I went back and finished the process with loo roll stuck up both my nostreals and my t-shirt covering my mouth.

Downstairs I headed to turn the lights out only to find Boston barfing in the middle of the living room. Oh crap the 'not dry heaving' started. Back up stair for another few minutes knowing that I still had to clean it up.

This was a pretty gross night. I left Erika a note to tread carefully around the house and let her know about the incidents that happened. But of course Boston was finshed. What joy what animals are.

I went to bed and put a baracade so that the dog wouldn't be able to come up. Ha ha. I am smarter than animals.

What A View !

2005-09-19T02:04:00.000Z

Niagara Falls

2005-09-19T02:00:00.000Z

It was Friday afternoon when we decided that we should head to see Niagara Falls. Matt was heading back to New Zealand and we decided to let him see the famous falls. The weather was crap and the traffic was horrific but we arrived eventually.

We saw the falls, took some pictures and then we went to a Karaoke bar and listened to some people try and sing. If you closed your eyes you could be convinced that someone was being strangled on stage. It was bad.

You will notice from the picture that we are having a beer. Jono went to the toilet so we thought it would be funny to order him one of the small bottles. Oh we are funny. You will see that I am having a Canadian. This would not usually be my choice but I will tell you the selection that I had to choose from. Bud, Bud Light, Coors, Coors Light, Miller, Miller Light, The Small Bottle (still funny) and Canadian.

I make no apologies.